How to Encourage Your Friends to Contact You More
Let people know you're down for anything., Provide your contact information., Be friendly and approachable when you see people in person., Contact your friends first, on occasion., Do not take perceived rejections personally., Talk about the issue.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Let people know you're down for anything.
You may not get contacted if people think you're not interested in certain events or activities.
Try to let people know you're interested in trying new things.
This way, when someone wants to hit up a new bar or try a new restaurant, you're more likely to get an invitation.
When a moment comes in conversation to show you're interested in trying new things, take it.
For example, say a couple of friends are talking about the new Japanese restaurant that opened up.
You could say something like, "I love trying new food.
If anyone wants to hit that place up, let me know." If you're not contacted a lot, this may be because people think you're simply not interested in spending time doing certain activities.
By presenting yourself as someone with a variety of interests, you're more likely to get an invitation.
Let people know you're comfortable with a variety of situations.
If you're not a big drinker, for example, people may be hesitant to contact you if they're heading to the bar after work.
If you hear people talking about drinking, say something like, "I'm not into alcohol that much myself, but I don't mind having a club soda and chatting while other people are drinking." -
Step 2: Provide your contact information.
Friends won't be able to contact you if they don't know how to reach you.
When you have the opportunity to do so, provide friends with your contact information.
You should also let them know how to reach you best.
Say something like, "I don't have free texting on my phone, so calling, e-mailing, or talking to me on Facebook works best." Don't be shy on social media.
In this day and age, many new friendships blossom because people reach out to one another via outlets like Facebook and Twitter.
If you know someone from school or work, find them on Facebook and send a friend request.
This conveys you're interested in socializing with this person.
Many people feel shy about calling or texting, and may feel more comfortable casually chatting online. , When you see people in person, this presents you with an opportunity to make a good impression.
If you come off as sociable and approachable, people will be more likely to reach out to you after a party or get together.If someone strikes up a conversation with you, be engaging.
If a person asks how you're doing, don't simply say "good" or "okay." Give that person a small bit of detail about your day and ask him or her how he or she is doing.
For example, "I'm great.
I got a wonderful walk in after work today.
How are you?" People are drawn to those who are interested in them.
Asking a lot of questions, and paying attention to the answers, will make people more likely to contact you after an event.
You should also work on having approachable body language.
Try to keep your shoulders down and avoid crossing your arms.
Make eye contact with friends and acquaintances from across the room and then offer a nice smile. , If you're worried others aren't contacting you, consider whether you reach out to them.
Your friends may feel like you're not interested in being contacted if you rarely text, call, or e-mail them.
Try sending a few texts out a day to friends.
Like people's posts on social media.
Take steps to be more socially engaged.
If you interact with others regularly, others are more likely to interact with you. , In friendships, especially long-term friendships, we develop certain expectations of others.
You may think it's your friend's turn to ask you to coffee if you asked the last time, for example.
However, sometimes expectations can lead you to take perceived rejections as personal slights.
Unless the two of you had a specific falling out, chances are a friend lessening contact is not personal.
If you get angry or confrontational over the issue, you could hurt your friend's feelings.
Work on de-personalizing a lack of contact.Consider a variety of other factors before deciding your friend is being rude to you.
Has your friend been busy lately? Is he or she undergoing any changes? A variety of factors could make a friend taper off contact.
Chances are it's not about you.
Try to be understanding if you're not offered an invitation to a particular event.
You may feel left out if you see on Facebook a few of your friends went out without you.
Chances are they did not consciously leave you out.
Your friends may have assumed you were busy, wouldn't be interested in the activity, or maybe just wanted a smaller group. , If you feel a friendship is becoming one-sided, it's appropriate to talk about the issue.
However, do so in a calm and respectful manner.
You do not want to make your friend feel bad, resulting in hurt feelings.
The goal of talking things out is to find a mutually beneficial solution.
Let your friend know you want to talk.
You can try to gather your thoughts ahead of time by writing them down.
Try to go into the conversation with empathy.
Consider your friend's perspective.
Why might he or she be contacting you less lately? Try to take this into consideration.Use "I"-statements to express yourself.
These are statements that begin with "I feel," after which you state your emotion.
Then, you explain the actions that lead to that emotion, and why you feel that way. "I"-statements can lessen blame, as you're putting the focus on your feelings over objective facts.
For example, don't say, "I'm always the one who calls you and invites you out.
It's disrespectful that you never take initiative to make plans." Instead, say, "I feel disrespected when you never call me and make plans because it makes our friendship feel one-sided." Give your friend some specifics on how you would like things to change.
For example, maybe you want your friend to make plans on occasion instead of always waiting for you to do so. -
Step 3: Be friendly and approachable when you see people in person.
-
Step 4: Contact your friends first
-
Step 5: on occasion.
-
Step 6: Do not take perceived rejections personally.
-
Step 7: Talk about the issue.
Detailed Guide
You may not get contacted if people think you're not interested in certain events or activities.
Try to let people know you're interested in trying new things.
This way, when someone wants to hit up a new bar or try a new restaurant, you're more likely to get an invitation.
When a moment comes in conversation to show you're interested in trying new things, take it.
For example, say a couple of friends are talking about the new Japanese restaurant that opened up.
You could say something like, "I love trying new food.
If anyone wants to hit that place up, let me know." If you're not contacted a lot, this may be because people think you're simply not interested in spending time doing certain activities.
By presenting yourself as someone with a variety of interests, you're more likely to get an invitation.
Let people know you're comfortable with a variety of situations.
If you're not a big drinker, for example, people may be hesitant to contact you if they're heading to the bar after work.
If you hear people talking about drinking, say something like, "I'm not into alcohol that much myself, but I don't mind having a club soda and chatting while other people are drinking."
Friends won't be able to contact you if they don't know how to reach you.
When you have the opportunity to do so, provide friends with your contact information.
You should also let them know how to reach you best.
Say something like, "I don't have free texting on my phone, so calling, e-mailing, or talking to me on Facebook works best." Don't be shy on social media.
In this day and age, many new friendships blossom because people reach out to one another via outlets like Facebook and Twitter.
If you know someone from school or work, find them on Facebook and send a friend request.
This conveys you're interested in socializing with this person.
Many people feel shy about calling or texting, and may feel more comfortable casually chatting online. , When you see people in person, this presents you with an opportunity to make a good impression.
If you come off as sociable and approachable, people will be more likely to reach out to you after a party or get together.If someone strikes up a conversation with you, be engaging.
If a person asks how you're doing, don't simply say "good" or "okay." Give that person a small bit of detail about your day and ask him or her how he or she is doing.
For example, "I'm great.
I got a wonderful walk in after work today.
How are you?" People are drawn to those who are interested in them.
Asking a lot of questions, and paying attention to the answers, will make people more likely to contact you after an event.
You should also work on having approachable body language.
Try to keep your shoulders down and avoid crossing your arms.
Make eye contact with friends and acquaintances from across the room and then offer a nice smile. , If you're worried others aren't contacting you, consider whether you reach out to them.
Your friends may feel like you're not interested in being contacted if you rarely text, call, or e-mail them.
Try sending a few texts out a day to friends.
Like people's posts on social media.
Take steps to be more socially engaged.
If you interact with others regularly, others are more likely to interact with you. , In friendships, especially long-term friendships, we develop certain expectations of others.
You may think it's your friend's turn to ask you to coffee if you asked the last time, for example.
However, sometimes expectations can lead you to take perceived rejections as personal slights.
Unless the two of you had a specific falling out, chances are a friend lessening contact is not personal.
If you get angry or confrontational over the issue, you could hurt your friend's feelings.
Work on de-personalizing a lack of contact.Consider a variety of other factors before deciding your friend is being rude to you.
Has your friend been busy lately? Is he or she undergoing any changes? A variety of factors could make a friend taper off contact.
Chances are it's not about you.
Try to be understanding if you're not offered an invitation to a particular event.
You may feel left out if you see on Facebook a few of your friends went out without you.
Chances are they did not consciously leave you out.
Your friends may have assumed you were busy, wouldn't be interested in the activity, or maybe just wanted a smaller group. , If you feel a friendship is becoming one-sided, it's appropriate to talk about the issue.
However, do so in a calm and respectful manner.
You do not want to make your friend feel bad, resulting in hurt feelings.
The goal of talking things out is to find a mutually beneficial solution.
Let your friend know you want to talk.
You can try to gather your thoughts ahead of time by writing them down.
Try to go into the conversation with empathy.
Consider your friend's perspective.
Why might he or she be contacting you less lately? Try to take this into consideration.Use "I"-statements to express yourself.
These are statements that begin with "I feel," after which you state your emotion.
Then, you explain the actions that lead to that emotion, and why you feel that way. "I"-statements can lessen blame, as you're putting the focus on your feelings over objective facts.
For example, don't say, "I'm always the one who calls you and invites you out.
It's disrespectful that you never take initiative to make plans." Instead, say, "I feel disrespected when you never call me and make plans because it makes our friendship feel one-sided." Give your friend some specifics on how you would like things to change.
For example, maybe you want your friend to make plans on occasion instead of always waiting for you to do so.
About the Author
Hannah Jones
Hannah Jones is an experienced writer with over 2 years of expertise in finance and banking. Passionate about sharing practical knowledge, Hannah creates easy-to-follow guides that help readers achieve their goals.
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