How to Find a Trusted Adult to Talk to
Choose someone who makes you feel safe., Ask yourself if the adult trusts your opinions and ideas., Determine if you can talk to the adult about anything.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Choose someone who makes you feel safe.
To completely trust an adult, you need to feel safe with them.
When looking for an adult to confide in, think about people who make you feel safe and comfortable.
If you don’t think you could share things with this adult, they don’t make you feel safe or comfortable.Consider adults who may have helped you in the past or who you have talked to before.
Look for signs that the person listens well, such as being empathetic or seeming to respond to what you say in a way that matches how you feel, having an open body posture, expressing concern for your happiness and well-being, trying to understand your perspective such as by asking questions, and offering validation for your feelings rather than telling you to stop feeling the way that you do. -
Step 2: Ask yourself if the adult trusts your opinions and ideas.
To feel comfortable talking to an adult, you will probably want someone who respects your opinions and ideas.
Some adults think that the feelings of adolescents or teens don’t matter, but many adults care about what you feel and think.
Find an adult who listens to you and treats your opinion like it matters.Before you decide to talk to your adult, try having a conversation about something else with them.
It can be anything from your favorite movie and school to sports or the weather.
Does the adult listen to you? Do they accept your opinions? Do they tell you you’re wrong or that you don’t know what you’re talking about? If the adult believes you have valid opinions and feelings, then they could be your potential trusted adult.
If they shut down what you say or tell you you’re wrong no matter what, maybe they are not the trusted adult you are looking for. , Trusted adults are people who you can tell anything to or go to with any problem.
The person is probably a good listener and cares about you.
As you look at your list, decide which of those adults are people you can tell anything to.Imagine yourself revealing something difficult or embarrassing to this adult.
How would you feel sharing this with the adult? Do you think they’d listen to you? Will they help you? Will they understand? Will the person get mad at you if you tell them? Are they going to yell or tell you you are wrong? Will they make you feel bad? If you think the adult will do these things, they may not be the right adult to talk to.
Consider whether the person accepts you without judging you.
This is important for finding a trusted adult to talk to.
Some signs that the person might be judging you include a questioning look, a defensive body posture, statements that include "should," or a disapproving tone.
Someone who interacts with you in these ways may not be the best person to talk to. -
Step 3: Determine if you can talk to the adult about anything.
Detailed Guide
To completely trust an adult, you need to feel safe with them.
When looking for an adult to confide in, think about people who make you feel safe and comfortable.
If you don’t think you could share things with this adult, they don’t make you feel safe or comfortable.Consider adults who may have helped you in the past or who you have talked to before.
Look for signs that the person listens well, such as being empathetic or seeming to respond to what you say in a way that matches how you feel, having an open body posture, expressing concern for your happiness and well-being, trying to understand your perspective such as by asking questions, and offering validation for your feelings rather than telling you to stop feeling the way that you do.
To feel comfortable talking to an adult, you will probably want someone who respects your opinions and ideas.
Some adults think that the feelings of adolescents or teens don’t matter, but many adults care about what you feel and think.
Find an adult who listens to you and treats your opinion like it matters.Before you decide to talk to your adult, try having a conversation about something else with them.
It can be anything from your favorite movie and school to sports or the weather.
Does the adult listen to you? Do they accept your opinions? Do they tell you you’re wrong or that you don’t know what you’re talking about? If the adult believes you have valid opinions and feelings, then they could be your potential trusted adult.
If they shut down what you say or tell you you’re wrong no matter what, maybe they are not the trusted adult you are looking for. , Trusted adults are people who you can tell anything to or go to with any problem.
The person is probably a good listener and cares about you.
As you look at your list, decide which of those adults are people you can tell anything to.Imagine yourself revealing something difficult or embarrassing to this adult.
How would you feel sharing this with the adult? Do you think they’d listen to you? Will they help you? Will they understand? Will the person get mad at you if you tell them? Are they going to yell or tell you you are wrong? Will they make you feel bad? If you think the adult will do these things, they may not be the right adult to talk to.
Consider whether the person accepts you without judging you.
This is important for finding a trusted adult to talk to.
Some signs that the person might be judging you include a questioning look, a defensive body posture, statements that include "should," or a disapproving tone.
Someone who interacts with you in these ways may not be the best person to talk to.
About the Author
Susan White
Writer and educator with a focus on practical hobbies knowledge.
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