How to Find People to Make Friends
Identify quality friends., Reach out to people you see every day., Go to parties., Strike up conversations with people who share your interests., Hit the "scene.", Go to organized events., Join some kind of organized group., Branch out through your...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Identify quality friends.
An ideal friend will share your values, interests, and beliefs.
Quality friendship is based on a mutual understanding of the qualities you share, and acceptance of your differences.
When you look for a friend, try to find someone who will:
Be genuinely interested in you and your life.
They will take the time to listen to what you have to say, and respect your thoughts and feelings.
Accept you fully, including any differences in opinions.
Listen to you without judging you or pressuring you to change your personal opinion and beliefs.
Comfortably share their thoughts, feelings, and emotions with you.
Keep in mind, though, that you should also feel comfortable being open and sharing things about yourself. -
Step 2: Reach out to people you see every day.
Expect strong friendships to rely on consistent interaction.Focus on people that you already see on a regular basis.
Odds are that you’ll either work and/or go to school with most people who fall into this category, but don’t limit yourself to that.
Consider anyone whom you see on a regular basis.This could be anyone from a fellow passenger on the train who shares the same commute each day to another dog owner who walks their pup in the park at the same time as you.
Pausing to chat with with people like these can result in a stronger relationship than the one you have with your BFF from high school if you don’t speak with the latter very often. , Accept any and all invitations that other people extend.
Remember: the whole point of a party is to relax, let your hair down, and socialize, so this is the perfect place to strike up conversations with people you hardly know because everyone's expecting it.
Whenever you're given the chance to attend a party, jump at it!Do so even if the person inviting you isn't exactly the friend you're looking for.
You may end up meeting someone more desirable through them. , People love talking about things they love, so use that to your advantage.
Whenever you see someone engaging in something that you're passionate about, engage them! Break the ice with a topic that you could both go on and on about.
Try something as simple as:
Mentioning that a certain book is a great read if you see someone reading it or pulling it off a shelf at the library or bookstore.
Commenting on how much you love a band if you see someone sporting a t-shirt or anything else with their name or images.
Complimenting someone's pet if it's an animal that you love. , Go to coffee shops, concerts, shows, or anywhere else the kind of people that you hope to meet tend to gather to relax or be entertained.
If you're of age, go to bars and clubs.
In order to meet people, you need to go where they go, so put yourself out there.
Go wherever the scene is, whether it's:
The park The beach A music scene Sports events , If the idea of just walking into a bar or coffee shop on any random night and striking up a conversation with perfect strangers is a little intimidating, then go to some kind of event that's open to the public instead.
Choose one that appeals to your interests and use the subject at hand as an ice-breaker.
For instance, you could go to:
Trivia nights Wine-tastings Singles events Professional conferences Walking tours , People tend to have a tribal mindset, so use that to your advantage.
Expect forming friendships to be much easier if you’re both part of a unifying group.
Join any kind of organization that appeals to you.
Then use your membership and shared interests to form an instant bond with fellow members.
Consider things like:
Church or volunteer groups Gym classes, sports team, or similar clubs Book clubs, art classes and other cerebral pursuits , Don’t feel like an organized group of people needs to be an official club.
Treat other people’s circle of friends as an organized group in and of themselves.
When you befriend one person, use that friendship as a common bond to build on with their other friends so you can form a more direct relationship with each of them, too.Meeting new friends through existing ones makes it much easier to maintain the new relationships that you build, because everyone's already connected.
This doesn’t mean you have to turn down friendships with a dozen different people just because you meet each one separately.
Just expect a lot more work in keeping those friendships alive. , Expect friendships to require consistent interaction in order to survive, but don’t take that to mean that it needs to be face-to-face.
Utilize the internet.
Join online forums and communities that share your interests.
Start conversations with other users just like you would in a “real world” setting. -
Step 3: Go to parties.
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Step 4: Strike up conversations with people who share your interests.
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Step 5: Hit the "scene."
-
Step 6: Go to organized events.
-
Step 7: Join some kind of organized group.
-
Step 8: Branch out through your existing friends.
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Step 9: Meet people online
Detailed Guide
An ideal friend will share your values, interests, and beliefs.
Quality friendship is based on a mutual understanding of the qualities you share, and acceptance of your differences.
When you look for a friend, try to find someone who will:
Be genuinely interested in you and your life.
They will take the time to listen to what you have to say, and respect your thoughts and feelings.
Accept you fully, including any differences in opinions.
Listen to you without judging you or pressuring you to change your personal opinion and beliefs.
Comfortably share their thoughts, feelings, and emotions with you.
Keep in mind, though, that you should also feel comfortable being open and sharing things about yourself.
Expect strong friendships to rely on consistent interaction.Focus on people that you already see on a regular basis.
Odds are that you’ll either work and/or go to school with most people who fall into this category, but don’t limit yourself to that.
Consider anyone whom you see on a regular basis.This could be anyone from a fellow passenger on the train who shares the same commute each day to another dog owner who walks their pup in the park at the same time as you.
Pausing to chat with with people like these can result in a stronger relationship than the one you have with your BFF from high school if you don’t speak with the latter very often. , Accept any and all invitations that other people extend.
Remember: the whole point of a party is to relax, let your hair down, and socialize, so this is the perfect place to strike up conversations with people you hardly know because everyone's expecting it.
Whenever you're given the chance to attend a party, jump at it!Do so even if the person inviting you isn't exactly the friend you're looking for.
You may end up meeting someone more desirable through them. , People love talking about things they love, so use that to your advantage.
Whenever you see someone engaging in something that you're passionate about, engage them! Break the ice with a topic that you could both go on and on about.
Try something as simple as:
Mentioning that a certain book is a great read if you see someone reading it or pulling it off a shelf at the library or bookstore.
Commenting on how much you love a band if you see someone sporting a t-shirt or anything else with their name or images.
Complimenting someone's pet if it's an animal that you love. , Go to coffee shops, concerts, shows, or anywhere else the kind of people that you hope to meet tend to gather to relax or be entertained.
If you're of age, go to bars and clubs.
In order to meet people, you need to go where they go, so put yourself out there.
Go wherever the scene is, whether it's:
The park The beach A music scene Sports events , If the idea of just walking into a bar or coffee shop on any random night and striking up a conversation with perfect strangers is a little intimidating, then go to some kind of event that's open to the public instead.
Choose one that appeals to your interests and use the subject at hand as an ice-breaker.
For instance, you could go to:
Trivia nights Wine-tastings Singles events Professional conferences Walking tours , People tend to have a tribal mindset, so use that to your advantage.
Expect forming friendships to be much easier if you’re both part of a unifying group.
Join any kind of organization that appeals to you.
Then use your membership and shared interests to form an instant bond with fellow members.
Consider things like:
Church or volunteer groups Gym classes, sports team, or similar clubs Book clubs, art classes and other cerebral pursuits , Don’t feel like an organized group of people needs to be an official club.
Treat other people’s circle of friends as an organized group in and of themselves.
When you befriend one person, use that friendship as a common bond to build on with their other friends so you can form a more direct relationship with each of them, too.Meeting new friends through existing ones makes it much easier to maintain the new relationships that you build, because everyone's already connected.
This doesn’t mean you have to turn down friendships with a dozen different people just because you meet each one separately.
Just expect a lot more work in keeping those friendships alive. , Expect friendships to require consistent interaction in order to survive, but don’t take that to mean that it needs to be face-to-face.
Utilize the internet.
Join online forums and communities that share your interests.
Start conversations with other users just like you would in a “real world” setting.
About the Author
Larry Burns
Writer and educator with a focus on practical creative arts knowledge.
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