How to Get a Guy to Be Your Friend
Build a repertoire before inviting him anywhere., Ask him to connect on social media., Initiate a few conversations with him about common interests., Keep your first encounters casual and let them end naturally.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Build a repertoire before inviting him anywhere.
Asking a guy you’ve never spoken to out on a “friend date” is risky, since his first instinct will likely be that you are hitting on him.
He may have never had a platonic female friend, western media offers little advice on opposite-sex friendships and almost no examples.Start by saying “hi” and making an observational statement relative to the situation.
Comment on the weather or how busy it is in the store, for example.
If he is in your class, ask him about a homework assignment or what he thought about a test.
Be sure that you approach him naturally, without seeming to find an excuse to speak to him.
If you have to go out of your way to have any interaction, reflect on your motives.
On TV and in movies, guys and girls are rarely simply “friends,” because at least one of them feels a romantic attraction for the other.You might have to have several short, informal interactions to get past any doubts about your motives. -
Step 2: Ask him to connect on social media.
Nearly everyone participates in some type of social media site, and gaining access to each other’s profiles will tell you more about each other.This is especially useful if you are not sure that you two would really get along but want to explore the possibility.It is also a casual way to ask someone to start a relationship without any pressure or commitment. , There was a reason you approached him in the first place.
After finding something to talk about during initial meetings, the next step in forming a solid friendship is building on these brief interactions with in-depth conversations about your shared interests.Consider where you usually see him.
Does he share one of your hobbies, shop at the same store, run at the same park? If you see him at a concert, for example, ask him later what he thought of it, or for suggestions about similar groups to check out.
If you both take guitar lessons at the same shop, start with a question about what he is currently learning to play, or how he motivates himself to practice everyday.
If your first attempt at engaging him doesn’t pan out, don’t be discouraged.
Unless you both love the same obscure band playing in your town this weekend, it will probably take a few conversations to figure out what your first ‘friend date’ could be. , Don’t try to force longer contact by continuing to press him on interests he isn’t responding to or by repeatedly changing the direction of the conversation.
Limit your questions to two or three topics.
You don’t want to appear desperate to continue talking to him or to find something you have in common.
Unless you get into an in-depth discussion about a topic you both really care about, limit your interactions to 5 or 10 minutes. -
Step 3: Initiate a few conversations with him about common interests.
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Step 4: Keep your first encounters casual and let them end naturally.
Detailed Guide
Asking a guy you’ve never spoken to out on a “friend date” is risky, since his first instinct will likely be that you are hitting on him.
He may have never had a platonic female friend, western media offers little advice on opposite-sex friendships and almost no examples.Start by saying “hi” and making an observational statement relative to the situation.
Comment on the weather or how busy it is in the store, for example.
If he is in your class, ask him about a homework assignment or what he thought about a test.
Be sure that you approach him naturally, without seeming to find an excuse to speak to him.
If you have to go out of your way to have any interaction, reflect on your motives.
On TV and in movies, guys and girls are rarely simply “friends,” because at least one of them feels a romantic attraction for the other.You might have to have several short, informal interactions to get past any doubts about your motives.
Nearly everyone participates in some type of social media site, and gaining access to each other’s profiles will tell you more about each other.This is especially useful if you are not sure that you two would really get along but want to explore the possibility.It is also a casual way to ask someone to start a relationship without any pressure or commitment. , There was a reason you approached him in the first place.
After finding something to talk about during initial meetings, the next step in forming a solid friendship is building on these brief interactions with in-depth conversations about your shared interests.Consider where you usually see him.
Does he share one of your hobbies, shop at the same store, run at the same park? If you see him at a concert, for example, ask him later what he thought of it, or for suggestions about similar groups to check out.
If you both take guitar lessons at the same shop, start with a question about what he is currently learning to play, or how he motivates himself to practice everyday.
If your first attempt at engaging him doesn’t pan out, don’t be discouraged.
Unless you both love the same obscure band playing in your town this weekend, it will probably take a few conversations to figure out what your first ‘friend date’ could be. , Don’t try to force longer contact by continuing to press him on interests he isn’t responding to or by repeatedly changing the direction of the conversation.
Limit your questions to two or three topics.
You don’t want to appear desperate to continue talking to him or to find something you have in common.
Unless you get into an in-depth discussion about a topic you both really care about, limit your interactions to 5 or 10 minutes.
About the Author
Christopher Ortiz
Specializes in breaking down complex DIY projects topics into simple steps.
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