How to Have Good Manners
Practice basic courtesy., Hold doors open for other people., Speak politely., Give up your seat on public transportation., Congratulate people., Be a courteous driver., Know how to greet people., Manage introductions with grace., Groom yourself...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Practice basic courtesy.
Say "Please" and "Thank you," when you need to, even to the person behind the counter at McDonald's.
People notice when you're courteous and respectful toward them, and it can count for a lot.
Additionally, say "Excuse me" whenever you accidentally bump into someone, or if need to leave a social setting temporarily. -
Step 2: Hold doors open for other people.
You don't have to be a guy to hold a door open.
If someone will be entering the door shortly after you, pause a second and hold it open.
Say, "After you, sir/ma'am," if the person is a stranger; if not, use his or her name in place of sir or ma'am.
If you're unsure about whether or not the other person would appreciate having the door held open, ask politely.
Say, "May I get the door for you?" This gives the other person an opportunity to accept or decline. , Keep the volume of your voice as low as possible while still allowing people to hear you, and don't use slang or filler words (such as "like," "uh," "so..." and so on).
Remember that the people around you are not all deaf, so you don't need to shout at the top of your lungs.
They might think that you are rude.
If possible, try not to drop your Gs.
For instance, instead of saying "hangin' out," try to enunciate "hanging out." Don't discuss rude topics in public, such as bodily functions, gossip, dirty jokes, swear words, or anything you wouldn't want your mom (or someone you have a crush on) to hear you say.
Don't interrupt or override another person when he or she is speaking.
Practice being a good listener, and talk when it's your turn. , If you're on a crowded train or bus and you notice someone struggling to stand up. (For example, an elderly person, a pregnant woman, or someone with a lot of parcels), offer him or her your seat.
Saying something like, "Excuse me, I'd be delighted if you'd accept my seat," can make the situation less awkward for the other person.
If he or she declines, be gracious; say, "Please feel welcome to let me know if you change your mind."
Offer your congratulations to someone who's just made a big accomplishment (such as graduating or being promoted), has added to his or her family (such as getting married or having a child), or has otherwise done something worthy of praise.
People that you praised will be inspired and touched because of you.
They will also do this when you achieved something.
Be a good sport.
Congratulate anyone who beats you in a race, sporting event, election or other competition. , Driving with good manners might seem outdated, but it's actually a matter of safety.
Try to follow these tips:
If you come to an intersection, stop, so that if there's an another driver who doesn't seem to know how to manage, just motion him or her to go ahead of you.
Yield to pedestrians, and try to give cyclists plenty of room.
Remember, your two-ton vehicle is a lot more dangerous to them than they are to you, so it's your responsibility to try to make sure everyone is safe.
Don't tailgate people or refuse to let them into your lane.
Use your turn signals even if you don't think anyone is around
- you never know if there's a pedestrian or cyclist you just can't see. , Whether you're in an informal or formal situation, acknowledging the presence of another person is a fundamental point of having good manners. (Failing to do so can be seen as an insult in most settings.) Here's what to do:
If you're greeting someone you know as a family member or close friend, an informal greeting is enough.
It can be as simple as "Hey, how's it going?" If you're greeting someone who's an elder, business associate, church leader, or other formal acquaintance, stick to a formal greeting unless you're instructed to do otherwise.
Greet the other person using his or her title (such as "Mrs.
Jones" or "Pastor Smith"), or use "sir" or "ma'am." Avoid slang such as "hey" or "hi," and try to speak in full sentences.
Something like "Hello, Mrs.
Jones.
How are you today?" could be appropriate.
Make any necessary greeting gestures.
For informal greetings, how you physically interact with that person is your choice
- you could do nothing at all, or offer a hug, handshake, or other greeting based on your relationship with that person.
For formal greetings, though, it's appropriate to offer a handshake or bow your head forward slightly.
If the person you're greeting formally goes in for a hug or an air kiss, accept it graciously. , If you're with two people who don't know each other, but you know both of them, it's your responsibility to make the introduction of good manners.
Follow these steps:
The person who is of higher social rank should have the second person introduced to him or her.
That is, the person of lower rank is the one who should be presented to the person of higher rank. (For example, "Mrs.
Jones, I'd like to introduce you to my good friend, Jessica Smith." Jessica is the person of lower rank in this introduction.) This is relatively easy in some situations, but here are some guidelines for when it's less clear-cut: younger people should be presented to elders, men should be presented to women, and laypeople should be presented to clergy, public servants, members of the military, or other people of higher rank.
If you're still confused, just go with your best judgment.
Start out an introduction by naming the person of higher rank, then say "I'd like to introduce you to.." or "this is..."
and name the person of lower rank.
After the two people have greeted each other, offer some information about each person.
For instance, you might say, "I've known Jessica since grade school" or "Mrs.
Jones is my mother's dear friend." Whatever you say should be able to start or sustain a short conversation, which you're responsible for carrying.
When you're being introduced to someone else, look that person in the eyes and remember his or her name.
After the introduction, greet the other person and say something like "How do you do?" or "It's a pleasure to meet you," and offer a handshake. , Whether you're going to your school, your job, or just to the grocery store, your pristine manners will go unnoticed if you're not well-groomed.
Take a shower everyday, and keep your hair, skin, nails and clothing as clean as possible.
Wear freshly laundered clothes that are appropriate for the setting you're in (whether it's a school uniform or a business-casual look for work). , Whenever anyone gives you a gift or does something particularly nice for you, send him or her a thank-you note within a few days (or a few weeks, for larger events such as a birthday party).
Note how thankful you are for the specific gift or action, and how delighted you are to have the other person's friendship.
Note that a thank-you email can be appropriate in certain situations, such as the workplace or for someone who lives so far away that an email is much more expedient.
When possible, though, it is preferable to send hand-written thank-you notes. -
Step 3: Speak politely.
-
Step 4: Give up your seat on public transportation.
-
Step 5: Congratulate people.
-
Step 6: Be a courteous driver.
-
Step 7: Know how to greet people.
-
Step 8: Manage introductions with grace.
-
Step 9: Groom yourself appropriately.
-
Step 10: Write thank-you notes.
Detailed Guide
Say "Please" and "Thank you," when you need to, even to the person behind the counter at McDonald's.
People notice when you're courteous and respectful toward them, and it can count for a lot.
Additionally, say "Excuse me" whenever you accidentally bump into someone, or if need to leave a social setting temporarily.
You don't have to be a guy to hold a door open.
If someone will be entering the door shortly after you, pause a second and hold it open.
Say, "After you, sir/ma'am," if the person is a stranger; if not, use his or her name in place of sir or ma'am.
If you're unsure about whether or not the other person would appreciate having the door held open, ask politely.
Say, "May I get the door for you?" This gives the other person an opportunity to accept or decline. , Keep the volume of your voice as low as possible while still allowing people to hear you, and don't use slang or filler words (such as "like," "uh," "so..." and so on).
Remember that the people around you are not all deaf, so you don't need to shout at the top of your lungs.
They might think that you are rude.
If possible, try not to drop your Gs.
For instance, instead of saying "hangin' out," try to enunciate "hanging out." Don't discuss rude topics in public, such as bodily functions, gossip, dirty jokes, swear words, or anything you wouldn't want your mom (or someone you have a crush on) to hear you say.
Don't interrupt or override another person when he or she is speaking.
Practice being a good listener, and talk when it's your turn. , If you're on a crowded train or bus and you notice someone struggling to stand up. (For example, an elderly person, a pregnant woman, or someone with a lot of parcels), offer him or her your seat.
Saying something like, "Excuse me, I'd be delighted if you'd accept my seat," can make the situation less awkward for the other person.
If he or she declines, be gracious; say, "Please feel welcome to let me know if you change your mind."
Offer your congratulations to someone who's just made a big accomplishment (such as graduating or being promoted), has added to his or her family (such as getting married or having a child), or has otherwise done something worthy of praise.
People that you praised will be inspired and touched because of you.
They will also do this when you achieved something.
Be a good sport.
Congratulate anyone who beats you in a race, sporting event, election or other competition. , Driving with good manners might seem outdated, but it's actually a matter of safety.
Try to follow these tips:
If you come to an intersection, stop, so that if there's an another driver who doesn't seem to know how to manage, just motion him or her to go ahead of you.
Yield to pedestrians, and try to give cyclists plenty of room.
Remember, your two-ton vehicle is a lot more dangerous to them than they are to you, so it's your responsibility to try to make sure everyone is safe.
Don't tailgate people or refuse to let them into your lane.
Use your turn signals even if you don't think anyone is around
- you never know if there's a pedestrian or cyclist you just can't see. , Whether you're in an informal or formal situation, acknowledging the presence of another person is a fundamental point of having good manners. (Failing to do so can be seen as an insult in most settings.) Here's what to do:
If you're greeting someone you know as a family member or close friend, an informal greeting is enough.
It can be as simple as "Hey, how's it going?" If you're greeting someone who's an elder, business associate, church leader, or other formal acquaintance, stick to a formal greeting unless you're instructed to do otherwise.
Greet the other person using his or her title (such as "Mrs.
Jones" or "Pastor Smith"), or use "sir" or "ma'am." Avoid slang such as "hey" or "hi," and try to speak in full sentences.
Something like "Hello, Mrs.
Jones.
How are you today?" could be appropriate.
Make any necessary greeting gestures.
For informal greetings, how you physically interact with that person is your choice
- you could do nothing at all, or offer a hug, handshake, or other greeting based on your relationship with that person.
For formal greetings, though, it's appropriate to offer a handshake or bow your head forward slightly.
If the person you're greeting formally goes in for a hug or an air kiss, accept it graciously. , If you're with two people who don't know each other, but you know both of them, it's your responsibility to make the introduction of good manners.
Follow these steps:
The person who is of higher social rank should have the second person introduced to him or her.
That is, the person of lower rank is the one who should be presented to the person of higher rank. (For example, "Mrs.
Jones, I'd like to introduce you to my good friend, Jessica Smith." Jessica is the person of lower rank in this introduction.) This is relatively easy in some situations, but here are some guidelines for when it's less clear-cut: younger people should be presented to elders, men should be presented to women, and laypeople should be presented to clergy, public servants, members of the military, or other people of higher rank.
If you're still confused, just go with your best judgment.
Start out an introduction by naming the person of higher rank, then say "I'd like to introduce you to.." or "this is..."
and name the person of lower rank.
After the two people have greeted each other, offer some information about each person.
For instance, you might say, "I've known Jessica since grade school" or "Mrs.
Jones is my mother's dear friend." Whatever you say should be able to start or sustain a short conversation, which you're responsible for carrying.
When you're being introduced to someone else, look that person in the eyes and remember his or her name.
After the introduction, greet the other person and say something like "How do you do?" or "It's a pleasure to meet you," and offer a handshake. , Whether you're going to your school, your job, or just to the grocery store, your pristine manners will go unnoticed if you're not well-groomed.
Take a shower everyday, and keep your hair, skin, nails and clothing as clean as possible.
Wear freshly laundered clothes that are appropriate for the setting you're in (whether it's a school uniform or a business-casual look for work). , Whenever anyone gives you a gift or does something particularly nice for you, send him or her a thank-you note within a few days (or a few weeks, for larger events such as a birthday party).
Note how thankful you are for the specific gift or action, and how delighted you are to have the other person's friendship.
Note that a thank-you email can be appropriate in certain situations, such as the workplace or for someone who lives so far away that an email is much more expedient.
When possible, though, it is preferable to send hand-written thank-you notes.
About the Author
Christopher Ortiz
Specializes in breaking down complex DIY projects topics into simple steps.
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