How to Politely Stop Being Friends With Someone
Think about whether or not you really want to cut this person out of your life., Consider if you want to end the friendship over something that can be resolved, or if it’s because of a major shift of personalities., Look for signs that this is a...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Think about whether or not you really want to cut this person out of your life.
Ending a friendship can have a major impact on your life (and theirs), so don’t make a rash decision when you are angry.
Instead, take a quiet moment to sit down and list the reasons you are friends with this person, and then list the things that you don't like about the friendship anymore.
This will give you some insight on whether or not the friendship can be saved, or if you should end things.Clearly defining the reasons you want to end the relationship will help you feel confident in your decision and communicate clearly with your friend.
It will help you experience closure, a sense that you did what was best for your wellbeing.Remember that growing apart from people is okay and natural—it doesn’t make either of you bad people. -
Step 2: Consider if you want to end the friendship over something that can be resolved
A simple misunderstanding may be the cause of the conflict; your friend might not even know that she’s done something to upset you.
It’s also possible you both have just changed and don’t have much of a connection anymore—if you became friends in kindergarten and now you’re teenagers, you may have grown to like and value different things, and not be the most compatible people anymore.
Are you considering ending the friendship because she forgot to come to your big track meet or because she said something rude about your boyfriend? Unless this is part of a larger pattern of behavior, letting her know she hurt you may be enough to fix your friendship.
If you feel bored by the friendship or dread spending time with her, it may mean your connection has faded.If you find you have little in common—you struggle to find things to do together or even things to talk about—then the friendship may have simply run its course.Is she a compassionate, thoughtful friend who sometimes flakes on your plans or is always late? Think about whether or not your issues are things you can address with her to save the friendship.Is your friend is socially anxious, shy or inept? Do you perhaps see a pathway for being someone who can guide your friend through these troubles? , A toxic friendship is an unhealthy relationship in which you feel you are consistently being taken advantage of.
If your friend insults you, gets jealous of your other friendships, or makes you feel bad about yourself after you interact, it might be time to end the friendship.Do you only hear from her when she needs something? Does she use you as a therapist but never return the favor, or ask you to do her homework assignments for her? Does she only focus on the negative things in life? Consider whether or not this is situational—maybe she’s just having a rough patch.
But if it’s a pattern of behavior, she may be an unhealthy person to be around.Is she extremely competitive, pick fights with you, or is she clingy and too demanding? These are all signs of a toxic friendship.Is she doing things that get you into trouble? If your friend is stealing, hurting people, or generally being bad news, and you seem to get dragged into it, then it's probably not your destiny to "fix" things here.
Look after your needs first in this instance.
Think about how you feel after you spend time with her.
If, more often than not, you end up feeling bad about yourself, it’s probably not a healthy relationship., If the good in your friendship outweighs the flaws, then try talking to him about the things that upset or hurt you.
The problems may be easily fixable, and you may not need to end the friendship after all.
Remember, no one is perfect, and there might be some ways in which you can learn to be a better friend, too.In a private setting, let your friend know their behavior is endangering your friendship.
Tell him, “It really bothers me when you flirt with my girlfriend” or “Hey, it’s really hard for me to hang out with you when you’re always really late.
Can you make more of an effort to be on time?” Ending a friendship without giving the person an opportunity to change can be very traumatic.
If this person is a good friend, it’s probably worth addressing the problems before you decide to cut the cord. -
Step 3: or if it’s because of a major shift of personalities.
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Step 4: Look for signs that this is a toxic friendship.
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Step 5: Give your friend a chance to change.
Detailed Guide
Ending a friendship can have a major impact on your life (and theirs), so don’t make a rash decision when you are angry.
Instead, take a quiet moment to sit down and list the reasons you are friends with this person, and then list the things that you don't like about the friendship anymore.
This will give you some insight on whether or not the friendship can be saved, or if you should end things.Clearly defining the reasons you want to end the relationship will help you feel confident in your decision and communicate clearly with your friend.
It will help you experience closure, a sense that you did what was best for your wellbeing.Remember that growing apart from people is okay and natural—it doesn’t make either of you bad people.
A simple misunderstanding may be the cause of the conflict; your friend might not even know that she’s done something to upset you.
It’s also possible you both have just changed and don’t have much of a connection anymore—if you became friends in kindergarten and now you’re teenagers, you may have grown to like and value different things, and not be the most compatible people anymore.
Are you considering ending the friendship because she forgot to come to your big track meet or because she said something rude about your boyfriend? Unless this is part of a larger pattern of behavior, letting her know she hurt you may be enough to fix your friendship.
If you feel bored by the friendship or dread spending time with her, it may mean your connection has faded.If you find you have little in common—you struggle to find things to do together or even things to talk about—then the friendship may have simply run its course.Is she a compassionate, thoughtful friend who sometimes flakes on your plans or is always late? Think about whether or not your issues are things you can address with her to save the friendship.Is your friend is socially anxious, shy or inept? Do you perhaps see a pathway for being someone who can guide your friend through these troubles? , A toxic friendship is an unhealthy relationship in which you feel you are consistently being taken advantage of.
If your friend insults you, gets jealous of your other friendships, or makes you feel bad about yourself after you interact, it might be time to end the friendship.Do you only hear from her when she needs something? Does she use you as a therapist but never return the favor, or ask you to do her homework assignments for her? Does she only focus on the negative things in life? Consider whether or not this is situational—maybe she’s just having a rough patch.
But if it’s a pattern of behavior, she may be an unhealthy person to be around.Is she extremely competitive, pick fights with you, or is she clingy and too demanding? These are all signs of a toxic friendship.Is she doing things that get you into trouble? If your friend is stealing, hurting people, or generally being bad news, and you seem to get dragged into it, then it's probably not your destiny to "fix" things here.
Look after your needs first in this instance.
Think about how you feel after you spend time with her.
If, more often than not, you end up feeling bad about yourself, it’s probably not a healthy relationship., If the good in your friendship outweighs the flaws, then try talking to him about the things that upset or hurt you.
The problems may be easily fixable, and you may not need to end the friendship after all.
Remember, no one is perfect, and there might be some ways in which you can learn to be a better friend, too.In a private setting, let your friend know their behavior is endangering your friendship.
Tell him, “It really bothers me when you flirt with my girlfriend” or “Hey, it’s really hard for me to hang out with you when you’re always really late.
Can you make more of an effort to be on time?” Ending a friendship without giving the person an opportunity to change can be very traumatic.
If this person is a good friend, it’s probably worth addressing the problems before you decide to cut the cord.
About the Author
Pamela Thomas
Enthusiastic about teaching cooking techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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