How to Politely Tell a Friend You Do Not Want a Surprise Party

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: Consider carefully why it is you do not want a surprise party.

   Do you dislike surprise parties specifically or parties in general? Is a surprise party just a mild annoyance or something you're really not going to enjoy?
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   Step 2: If you still feel that you really do not want a surprise party

   Maybe simply taking the "surprise" aspect out would work.
   
   Maybe you would prefer a smaller party, or a party at a different location. , It's a lot easier to call off a party that's just starting to be put together than it is to stop one that's all set to go tomorrow. , Do it in person if possible, over the phone if it's not.
   
   Don't embarrass your friend in front of other people. , You don't need to blame anyone for giving away the secret; simply say you overheard someone talking about it. , Remember, your friend is probably not throwing you a surprise party to try to make you miserable.
   
   Acknowledge the good intention. , You don't have go into great detail or off on a tirade against surprise parties.
   
   A polite, simple statement is probably best. , This is not necessarily a lie; your "plans" may be staying at home and not going to any surprise parties.
   
   Make sure you have not already told your friend you would keep the day free and that you will not be anywhere that your friend or someone who may relay information to your friend might also be. , Talk it out with your friend and try to come to a compromise.
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   Step 3: try to think of acceptable compromises.

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   Step 4: Try to find out how far along your friend is in planning the party.

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   Step 5: As soon as possible

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   Step 6: talk to your friend privately.

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   Step 7: If your friend isn't the one who spilled the beans

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   Step 8: make it clear you know about the party.

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   Step 9: Say that you're flattered or touched by the gesture.

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    Step 10: Very gently

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    Step 11: explain that surprise parties are just not your thing.

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    Step 12: If you really don't think your friend will take "no" for an answer

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    Step 13: say that you've already made plans for that day.

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    Step 14: Suggest one of the alternatives

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    Step 15: such as a regular party or a smaller party.

Detailed Guide

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