How to Practice Instant Messaging Etiquette
Read status messages., Use status messages., Ask if the recipient has time., Have a purpose., Introduce yourself., datm (Don’t abbreviate too much)., Give time to respond., Type one thing at a time., Use correct grammar., Type in sentences., Send...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Read status messages.
Nothing is more annoying than to have your status as “Do Not Disturb,” only to be IM’d about a low priority project.
Respect a person’s status! -
Step 2: Use status messages.
If everyone would respect status messages, more people would use them when appropriate.
If you’re really busy, set your status appropriately. , This gives them the chance to explain that a project is underway, or to ask for 5 minutes to find a stopping point.
This is the equivalent of knocking before you enter someone's office. , If you're not close friends with the person, don't just send a greeting ("Hey there") and expect them to launch a conversation.
You should have a relevant question, or issue to discuss. , Many people invite IMs from strangers, and it’s perfectly acceptable to send them one.
However, be sure to explain (in your first message) who you are; a one-two sentence intro should suffice. , Unless you know the recipient is on par with your IM savviness, keep abbreviations to a minimum.
In fact, for regular IM sessions, it’s probably a good idea to avoid abbreviations that you wouldn’t use in regular emails or correspondence. , Not everyone types at 200 WPM like you.
Conversations get confusing when you type three separate thoughts before the other party can type a response to your first one. , This relates to the previous point: be sequential, and one thought at a time. , You’re not writing a dissertation, but incorrect grammar frustrates many people, and it confuses communication.
Do your best to IM with decent grammar.
Use the proper lower and uppercase letters.
Do not type in all lowercase letters.
Also, do not excessively pluralize words. , Once again, try to be clear by using complete sentences.
It’s not a hard-and-fast rule, but a good general guideline to follow. , If you want the recipient to read several paragraphs of text, send an email.
It’s incredibly hard to read a ton in IM, when the screen keeps scrolling because you’re not respecting the “one thing at a time” rule. , a.k.a.:
Don’t be too quick with the “Send” button.
Make your messages be coherent thoughts, hopefully only one per message.
This makes it easier to follow and respond in kind. , If you have several quick things that you want in one message together, insert a blank line.
In most clients, this is done with Ctrl+Enter.
Depending on your IM program, this might be Shift+Enter.
Experiment to find out.
If you are using a Mac Client, the hotkey may be Option+Enter.
Once again, experiment to find out. , These mean, respectively, ”be right back” (brb) and "got to go" (gtg/g2g).
These are two abbreviations that IMers should learn and respect.
If someone types it, that means something is pulling them away from the message window.
Halt your typing (or finish the thought, then type an “OK”), and wait for them to return.
If you are the one typing brb be sure it is temporary; don't leave the other person waiting if you are not coming back any time soon.
If you know you will be gone for a long time use gtg instead.
If you are not coming back respect the other person's time and don't leave them hanging by overusing brb.
An ideal replacement may be "Be Back Later". , IM sessions aren’t clearly ended by hanging up.
If the recipient answered your question, and you didn’t ask another, she likely considers the session over.
If you need something else, ask.
Otherwise, don’t be offended if you don’t receive “Thanks for the IM.
Goodbye.” Likewise, if you've answered someone's question or you feel the conversation has come to a close, you can ask "Is there anything else you want to go over?" (or similar) and if there isn't, finish off with "It was nice talking to you, thanks for writing.
I'll catch you some other time!"
If your conversation gets intense and typing becomes difficult, a phone call might help.
Ask the recipient if they would prefer speaking over the phone and if calling is all right.
It never hurts to ask.
Internet voice chat is usually not ideal, but it might be a good idea if you are conversing with somebody you do not know outside of IM. -
Step 3: Ask if the recipient has time.
-
Step 4: Have a purpose.
-
Step 5: Introduce yourself.
-
Step 6: datm (Don’t abbreviate too much).
-
Step 7: Give time to respond.
-
Step 8: Type one thing at a time.
-
Step 9: Use correct grammar.
-
Step 10: Type in sentences.
-
Step 11: Send long text via email.
-
Step 12: Divide thoughts by message.
-
Step 13: Use Ctrl+Enter = a blank line.
-
Step 14: Respect brb and gtg.
-
Step 15: Know when the conversation ends.
-
Step 16: Ask if you can call.
Detailed Guide
Nothing is more annoying than to have your status as “Do Not Disturb,” only to be IM’d about a low priority project.
Respect a person’s status!
If everyone would respect status messages, more people would use them when appropriate.
If you’re really busy, set your status appropriately. , This gives them the chance to explain that a project is underway, or to ask for 5 minutes to find a stopping point.
This is the equivalent of knocking before you enter someone's office. , If you're not close friends with the person, don't just send a greeting ("Hey there") and expect them to launch a conversation.
You should have a relevant question, or issue to discuss. , Many people invite IMs from strangers, and it’s perfectly acceptable to send them one.
However, be sure to explain (in your first message) who you are; a one-two sentence intro should suffice. , Unless you know the recipient is on par with your IM savviness, keep abbreviations to a minimum.
In fact, for regular IM sessions, it’s probably a good idea to avoid abbreviations that you wouldn’t use in regular emails or correspondence. , Not everyone types at 200 WPM like you.
Conversations get confusing when you type three separate thoughts before the other party can type a response to your first one. , This relates to the previous point: be sequential, and one thought at a time. , You’re not writing a dissertation, but incorrect grammar frustrates many people, and it confuses communication.
Do your best to IM with decent grammar.
Use the proper lower and uppercase letters.
Do not type in all lowercase letters.
Also, do not excessively pluralize words. , Once again, try to be clear by using complete sentences.
It’s not a hard-and-fast rule, but a good general guideline to follow. , If you want the recipient to read several paragraphs of text, send an email.
It’s incredibly hard to read a ton in IM, when the screen keeps scrolling because you’re not respecting the “one thing at a time” rule. , a.k.a.:
Don’t be too quick with the “Send” button.
Make your messages be coherent thoughts, hopefully only one per message.
This makes it easier to follow and respond in kind. , If you have several quick things that you want in one message together, insert a blank line.
In most clients, this is done with Ctrl+Enter.
Depending on your IM program, this might be Shift+Enter.
Experiment to find out.
If you are using a Mac Client, the hotkey may be Option+Enter.
Once again, experiment to find out. , These mean, respectively, ”be right back” (brb) and "got to go" (gtg/g2g).
These are two abbreviations that IMers should learn and respect.
If someone types it, that means something is pulling them away from the message window.
Halt your typing (or finish the thought, then type an “OK”), and wait for them to return.
If you are the one typing brb be sure it is temporary; don't leave the other person waiting if you are not coming back any time soon.
If you know you will be gone for a long time use gtg instead.
If you are not coming back respect the other person's time and don't leave them hanging by overusing brb.
An ideal replacement may be "Be Back Later". , IM sessions aren’t clearly ended by hanging up.
If the recipient answered your question, and you didn’t ask another, she likely considers the session over.
If you need something else, ask.
Otherwise, don’t be offended if you don’t receive “Thanks for the IM.
Goodbye.” Likewise, if you've answered someone's question or you feel the conversation has come to a close, you can ask "Is there anything else you want to go over?" (or similar) and if there isn't, finish off with "It was nice talking to you, thanks for writing.
I'll catch you some other time!"
If your conversation gets intense and typing becomes difficult, a phone call might help.
Ask the recipient if they would prefer speaking over the phone and if calling is all right.
It never hurts to ask.
Internet voice chat is usually not ideal, but it might be a good idea if you are conversing with somebody you do not know outside of IM.
About the Author
Eric Vasquez
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow organization tutorials.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: