How to Pursue Friendship if You Suffer from an Eating Disorder
Answer phone calls, texts, and emails., Contact your friends., Introduce yourself to new people., Ask questions., Decide if your current friends are worth pursuing., Seek healthy friendships., You have to be very careful about developing friendships...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Answer phone calls
One way you can pursue friendships when you have an eating disorder is not to let the eating disorder control you and isolate you from others.
This means connecting with the people when the opportunity arises.
If someone calls you or sends you a text or email, answer the phone or respond to the text/email.If you need time to prepare to talk on the phone or answer your text/email, you don’t have to pick up the phone or answer your text/email immediately.
Give yourself a few minutes to get used to the idea of talking on the phone, then return the call.
Visualize the call from start to finish and envision it going well.
Think about what you want to say in the text/email reply before you respond. -
Step 2: and emails.
Keeping in touch with people doesn’t mean you have to socialize or leave the house.
Even if you don’t feel up to going out, you can reach out to your friends.
Call them to talk.
Just ask them how they are doing, tell them about how you are, or talk about your days or movies you’ve seen.
Even if you only talk for a few minutes, you will stay connected with the person and maintain the friendship.Technology offers a lot of ways you can stay connected with your friends.
You can email, text, or talk to them through social media.
Make it a goal to call/text/email one person per day.
This is a small goal that should not cause you to feel overwhelmed and shut down.
Slowly, but surely, you will get to everybody. , Because of your eating disorder, you may feel isolated and uncomfortable with meeting new people.
However, introducing yourself to someone is the first step in pursuing a friendship with someone.
Try inviting an acquaintance to do something to get a friendship going.
Maintain eye contact with the person, even if you feel self-conscious and nervous about being around the person.Asking someone to coffee or to a movie are low-stress ways to hang out with someone.
You may want to say, “I thought about seeing a movie this weekend.
Would you like to join me?” If you are uncomfortable asking someone to do something, you can stick to conversation for now.
Talk to the person or text them and ask about their day.
For example, you can text, “How are you doing today?” You can even try just striking up small talk when you are out in public to get back in the practice of socializing.
While waiting in line at the coffee shop you might compliment the person behind you on their shirt, for instance. , One good way to make conversation is to ask questions.
Asking questions lets the person know you are interested in them, helps you get to know the other person, and helps bring up subjects that can keep the conversation going.
Remember not to let your self-esteem get in the way of asking questions.
Keep making eye contact, smiling, and staying confident.Ask one question and then let the other person answer.
When you are first getting to know someone, only ask them a few questions, especially if they don’t ask any follow up questions.
For example, you may ask, “What do you think about the music here?” or “Have you seen any good movies lately?” Making new friends takes time.
You won’t make a close friend overnight.
When you first introduce yourself and ask a few questions, that is only the beginning.
You will have to work at continuing the interaction as the relationship develops into friendship. , One important part of recovering from an ED is to build and maintain healthy relationships.
Because of your eating disorder, you may have lost contact with friends, and now you may want to reconnect and pursue those friendships.
As you decide, figure out if there are any unhealthy relationships you should cut from your life.Are there friends you had who encouraged your unhealthy behavior? Did they put you down or make comments that triggered unhealthy eating habits? Are there people who discouraged your goals or recovery efforts? Before abandoning any prior friendships, consider talking to the friend if you want to pursue a friendship with them.
Honestly talk about their enabling, unhealthy, or triggering behavior and see if the two of you can come to a compromise so the friendship can grow and develop. , Since many people with eating disorders also have low self-esteem, those with an eating disorder (or "ED") often feel undeserving of friendship.
You may feel like you have nothing to offer, so you may end up being friends with people who are unhealthy, toxic, or even harmful to you.
As you pursue friendships, make sure to look for people who will be a healthy presence in your life instead of an unhealthy one.People who are healthy influences on you treat you with kindness and understanding.
They enjoy being friends with you and spending time together.
Unhealthy influences are those who have addiction problems or are abusive to you physically, mentally, or emotionally.
A toxic person may be mean to you or treat you like you are not worth their time.
They may also encourage unhealthy behaviors, like restricting food or purging.
Avoid people who place emphasis on your physical looks or who make negative comments about your weight. , Because of the intimate nature of their disorder, people can bond very quickly in treatment and want to continue these friendships after discharge; however, it is common for this to lead to a regression in both parties because the disorder is so behavior-based.
Stay in communication with your outpatient provider about the progression of any new friendships. -
Step 3: Contact your friends.
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Step 4: Introduce yourself to new people.
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Step 5: Ask questions.
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Step 6: Decide if your current friends are worth pursuing.
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Step 7: Seek healthy friendships.
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Step 8: You have to be very careful about developing friendships with people you met in treatment.
Detailed Guide
One way you can pursue friendships when you have an eating disorder is not to let the eating disorder control you and isolate you from others.
This means connecting with the people when the opportunity arises.
If someone calls you or sends you a text or email, answer the phone or respond to the text/email.If you need time to prepare to talk on the phone or answer your text/email, you don’t have to pick up the phone or answer your text/email immediately.
Give yourself a few minutes to get used to the idea of talking on the phone, then return the call.
Visualize the call from start to finish and envision it going well.
Think about what you want to say in the text/email reply before you respond.
Keeping in touch with people doesn’t mean you have to socialize or leave the house.
Even if you don’t feel up to going out, you can reach out to your friends.
Call them to talk.
Just ask them how they are doing, tell them about how you are, or talk about your days or movies you’ve seen.
Even if you only talk for a few minutes, you will stay connected with the person and maintain the friendship.Technology offers a lot of ways you can stay connected with your friends.
You can email, text, or talk to them through social media.
Make it a goal to call/text/email one person per day.
This is a small goal that should not cause you to feel overwhelmed and shut down.
Slowly, but surely, you will get to everybody. , Because of your eating disorder, you may feel isolated and uncomfortable with meeting new people.
However, introducing yourself to someone is the first step in pursuing a friendship with someone.
Try inviting an acquaintance to do something to get a friendship going.
Maintain eye contact with the person, even if you feel self-conscious and nervous about being around the person.Asking someone to coffee or to a movie are low-stress ways to hang out with someone.
You may want to say, “I thought about seeing a movie this weekend.
Would you like to join me?” If you are uncomfortable asking someone to do something, you can stick to conversation for now.
Talk to the person or text them and ask about their day.
For example, you can text, “How are you doing today?” You can even try just striking up small talk when you are out in public to get back in the practice of socializing.
While waiting in line at the coffee shop you might compliment the person behind you on their shirt, for instance. , One good way to make conversation is to ask questions.
Asking questions lets the person know you are interested in them, helps you get to know the other person, and helps bring up subjects that can keep the conversation going.
Remember not to let your self-esteem get in the way of asking questions.
Keep making eye contact, smiling, and staying confident.Ask one question and then let the other person answer.
When you are first getting to know someone, only ask them a few questions, especially if they don’t ask any follow up questions.
For example, you may ask, “What do you think about the music here?” or “Have you seen any good movies lately?” Making new friends takes time.
You won’t make a close friend overnight.
When you first introduce yourself and ask a few questions, that is only the beginning.
You will have to work at continuing the interaction as the relationship develops into friendship. , One important part of recovering from an ED is to build and maintain healthy relationships.
Because of your eating disorder, you may have lost contact with friends, and now you may want to reconnect and pursue those friendships.
As you decide, figure out if there are any unhealthy relationships you should cut from your life.Are there friends you had who encouraged your unhealthy behavior? Did they put you down or make comments that triggered unhealthy eating habits? Are there people who discouraged your goals or recovery efforts? Before abandoning any prior friendships, consider talking to the friend if you want to pursue a friendship with them.
Honestly talk about their enabling, unhealthy, or triggering behavior and see if the two of you can come to a compromise so the friendship can grow and develop. , Since many people with eating disorders also have low self-esteem, those with an eating disorder (or "ED") often feel undeserving of friendship.
You may feel like you have nothing to offer, so you may end up being friends with people who are unhealthy, toxic, or even harmful to you.
As you pursue friendships, make sure to look for people who will be a healthy presence in your life instead of an unhealthy one.People who are healthy influences on you treat you with kindness and understanding.
They enjoy being friends with you and spending time together.
Unhealthy influences are those who have addiction problems or are abusive to you physically, mentally, or emotionally.
A toxic person may be mean to you or treat you like you are not worth their time.
They may also encourage unhealthy behaviors, like restricting food or purging.
Avoid people who place emphasis on your physical looks or who make negative comments about your weight. , Because of the intimate nature of their disorder, people can bond very quickly in treatment and want to continue these friendships after discharge; however, it is common for this to lead to a regression in both parties because the disorder is so behavior-based.
Stay in communication with your outpatient provider about the progression of any new friendships.
About the Author
Jack King
Jack King specializes in technology and innovation and has been creating helpful content for over 4 years. Jack is committed to helping readers learn new skills and improve their lives.
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