How to Socialize if You Have Social Anxiety

Identify your fears., Ask yourself if your fears are realistic., Challenge your self-perception., Avoid putting too much pressure on yourself., Get help., See a professional.

6 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Identify your fears.

    What in particular scares you about social situations? Are you afraid of stuttering, saying something silly, or having nothing to say? Often a generalized sense of fear can be traced back to a more specific root fear., Many people with social anxiety have fears that are overblown.

    Think about whether your anxiety is rooted in reality.

    Your imagination may be running away with you.Many social fears are based on worst-case scenario thinking.

    For instance, if someone you just met cut their conversation with you short, you might immediately fear that they dislike you.

    Consider whether there are other, more likely explanations.

    Maybe they remembered they were late for an appointment, or maybe they were in a hurry to pick up their child from school. , Social anxiety can cause you to have distorted thoughts about yourself.

    You might think you’re weird, boring, or a loser.

    Remind yourself that these thoughts aren’t based in reality, and work on replacing them with healthier ideas about yourself.For instance, if you catch yourself thinking “I’m a social failure,” change that thought to, “I’m nervous in social situations, but I’m working on developing my skills.” , When you don’t go out much, you might feel like every interaction you have is disproportionately important.

    In reality, any single encounter is not going to make or break other people’s opinion of you.

    Other people probably pay less attention to you than you think, so don’t put pressure on yourself to be perfect.Remember that you don’t have to be perfect to be liked. , Overriding the natural way you think can be a challenge.

    Reach out to others for support and accountability as you try to alter your negative thought patterns.

    Others can offer you a different perspective and help you see when your thoughts are unrealistic.

    Ask a friend for their opinion when you feel yourself getting particularly anxious.

    Tell the person what thoughts are going through your head and conduct reality-based testing to see if there is any evidence to support your thoughts. , Psychotherapy involves working with a trained mental health counselor or therapist to identify the source of your social anxiety and develop strategies to overcome it.

    A psychotherapist can work with you to restructure your negative thoughts about social situations.

    A professional can also help you gradually get more exposure to anxiety-provoking events until you start to feel more comfortable.
  2. Step 2: Ask yourself if your fears are realistic.

  3. Step 3: Challenge your self-perception.

  4. Step 4: Avoid putting too much pressure on yourself.

  5. Step 5: Get help.

  6. Step 6: See a professional.

Detailed Guide

What in particular scares you about social situations? Are you afraid of stuttering, saying something silly, or having nothing to say? Often a generalized sense of fear can be traced back to a more specific root fear., Many people with social anxiety have fears that are overblown.

Think about whether your anxiety is rooted in reality.

Your imagination may be running away with you.Many social fears are based on worst-case scenario thinking.

For instance, if someone you just met cut their conversation with you short, you might immediately fear that they dislike you.

Consider whether there are other, more likely explanations.

Maybe they remembered they were late for an appointment, or maybe they were in a hurry to pick up their child from school. , Social anxiety can cause you to have distorted thoughts about yourself.

You might think you’re weird, boring, or a loser.

Remind yourself that these thoughts aren’t based in reality, and work on replacing them with healthier ideas about yourself.For instance, if you catch yourself thinking “I’m a social failure,” change that thought to, “I’m nervous in social situations, but I’m working on developing my skills.” , When you don’t go out much, you might feel like every interaction you have is disproportionately important.

In reality, any single encounter is not going to make or break other people’s opinion of you.

Other people probably pay less attention to you than you think, so don’t put pressure on yourself to be perfect.Remember that you don’t have to be perfect to be liked. , Overriding the natural way you think can be a challenge.

Reach out to others for support and accountability as you try to alter your negative thought patterns.

Others can offer you a different perspective and help you see when your thoughts are unrealistic.

Ask a friend for their opinion when you feel yourself getting particularly anxious.

Tell the person what thoughts are going through your head and conduct reality-based testing to see if there is any evidence to support your thoughts. , Psychotherapy involves working with a trained mental health counselor or therapist to identify the source of your social anxiety and develop strategies to overcome it.

A psychotherapist can work with you to restructure your negative thoughts about social situations.

A professional can also help you gradually get more exposure to anxiety-provoking events until you start to feel more comfortable.

About the Author

M

Matthew Tucker

Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in creative arts and beyond.

33 articles
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