How to Split Up and Still Be Friends
End the relationship in person., Pick a location that will lead to a productive talk., Be honest and skip the cliché., Avoid adding extra reasons just for emphasis.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: End the relationship in person.
Many people commit the cardinal sin of breaking up via text or Facebook.
Doing it that way will not signal that you really care.
Show this person respect at the end because you won’t maintain a friendship if the break up goes badly.Talking in person will let you break down everything that you want to say.
It will also allow your significant other the chance to respond instead of feeling shut out.
Remember that not giving people closure makes them suffer psychologically.
Don’t do that if you want to stay friends because no one likes to be left hanging.
You can use body language to guide the conversation if you meet in person.
If your partner has rigid shoulders, is open-mouthed, or looks down a lot, you’ll know that the conversation is upsetting to them.
If your partner seems relaxed and maybe even smiles, you’ll know you are not delivering blows. -
Step 2: Pick a location that will lead to a productive talk.
This is an important discussion, and you both need to be focused, so having it just anywhere won’t help you get your point across.
To stay friends, remember that atmosphere counts.Avoid places that are crowded.
You need privacy, not some busy body at the next table eavesdropping on every word.Don’t go somewhere that the two of you used to go together.
That will bring up sad memories for you both.Pick a park, a large, open cafe or other locale where the two of you can have space.
Definitely don’t meet at one of your houses, which will be uncomfortable. , No one wants to hear “It’s me, not you.” Starting off in such an insincere way won’t help the break up talk go smoothly and you will end up insulting your ex.If you aren’t attracted to the person anymore, you can tell them that, but be gentle, of course.
If you don’t see a future due to different life goals, that is a legitimate reason.
Simply say, "Joe, I am trying to find a job that will allow me to travel, and you're a homebody.
A long-term relationship probably just isn't right for us." Maybe you feel that the differences in your communication styles will cause problems down the road.
Try saying something like, "We have misunderstandings far too often.
We can probably find other people that understand us better."
Even though you don't want to continue seeing this person, there's no need to criticize every little thing about them.Don't criticize your ex's family.
You're not going to date this person anymore, so there is no reason to announce that his siblings were bossy and his mom was nosy.
Don't blame their pets.
If you were allergic to the cat in the beginning of the year-long relationship and stayed around, that cat has nothing to do with the break up.
Making other trivial claims, like that they live too far away, is just not necessary.
More reasons won’t make the person getting dumped feel better. -
Step 3: Be honest and skip the cliché.
-
Step 4: Avoid adding extra reasons just for emphasis.
Detailed Guide
Many people commit the cardinal sin of breaking up via text or Facebook.
Doing it that way will not signal that you really care.
Show this person respect at the end because you won’t maintain a friendship if the break up goes badly.Talking in person will let you break down everything that you want to say.
It will also allow your significant other the chance to respond instead of feeling shut out.
Remember that not giving people closure makes them suffer psychologically.
Don’t do that if you want to stay friends because no one likes to be left hanging.
You can use body language to guide the conversation if you meet in person.
If your partner has rigid shoulders, is open-mouthed, or looks down a lot, you’ll know that the conversation is upsetting to them.
If your partner seems relaxed and maybe even smiles, you’ll know you are not delivering blows.
This is an important discussion, and you both need to be focused, so having it just anywhere won’t help you get your point across.
To stay friends, remember that atmosphere counts.Avoid places that are crowded.
You need privacy, not some busy body at the next table eavesdropping on every word.Don’t go somewhere that the two of you used to go together.
That will bring up sad memories for you both.Pick a park, a large, open cafe or other locale where the two of you can have space.
Definitely don’t meet at one of your houses, which will be uncomfortable. , No one wants to hear “It’s me, not you.” Starting off in such an insincere way won’t help the break up talk go smoothly and you will end up insulting your ex.If you aren’t attracted to the person anymore, you can tell them that, but be gentle, of course.
If you don’t see a future due to different life goals, that is a legitimate reason.
Simply say, "Joe, I am trying to find a job that will allow me to travel, and you're a homebody.
A long-term relationship probably just isn't right for us." Maybe you feel that the differences in your communication styles will cause problems down the road.
Try saying something like, "We have misunderstandings far too often.
We can probably find other people that understand us better."
Even though you don't want to continue seeing this person, there's no need to criticize every little thing about them.Don't criticize your ex's family.
You're not going to date this person anymore, so there is no reason to announce that his siblings were bossy and his mom was nosy.
Don't blame their pets.
If you were allergic to the cat in the beginning of the year-long relationship and stayed around, that cat has nothing to do with the break up.
Making other trivial claims, like that they live too far away, is just not necessary.
More reasons won’t make the person getting dumped feel better.
About the Author
Adam Chapman
Creates helpful guides on crafts to inspire and educate readers.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: