How to Stop a So Called Friend from Putting You Down
State your honest feelings., Dismiss the insult., Laugh., Remain calm.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: State your honest feelings.
Sometimes your friend might not realize that what they said was hurtful or inappropriate.
Perhaps they thought you would take it as a joke, or maybe they did not think before they spoke.
Don’t be afraid to tell them how you feel in a direct but gentle manner.
Your friend might realize that certain topics or jokes are off-limits with you.
You can try saying something like “I’m really hurt by that” or “When you say things like that, I feel as though I am worthless.” Try not to respond with sarcasm.
Your friend might mistake it as acceptance of what they are doing.
For example, if your friend makes a comment on your weight, instead of a dry “thanks,” try saying, “I don’t find that funny.” -
Step 2: Dismiss the insult.
Sometimes bullies will upset you just to see your reaction afterwards.
If you learn how to brush off insults, you will not be giving your friend any satisfaction from the put down, and they may stop when they realize that they have no power over you.
One way to do this is to simply ignore the insult and assert your positive qualities.
Swallow your anger and make a statement that both calls attention to the inappropriateness of the statement while signaling that you don’t care what they think.For example, if your friend puts down your appearance, say, “I don’t care what you think.
I think I look beautiful.” , When someone puts you down, they may be trying to assert dominance over you by reducing your confidence.
Humor can turn the situation around by giving you control over the insult.
If you cannot come up with a witty comeback, try just laughing in response.
If your friend really meant to hurt you, you will be proving to them that you are too strong for such silly tactics.If the insult really hurts you, tell your friend that you do not find it funny.
Don’t make a joke at your friend’s expense, or it will continue the cycle of insults.
Instead, use self-deprecating humor.
By being able to make fun of yourself, you demonstrate that you don’t care what others think and that you are comfortable in your own skin.
This can help discourage others from making fun of you! , Anger is a natural response to insults, but it can worsen the situation.
If you respond to your friend with anger, they will try to accuse you of overreacting, and they will use your anger against you later on.
Instead, remain calm and try to display indifference to your friend.
When speaking to them, use a flat tone of voice.
If you are very angry, express it through your words.
A good calm dismissal is to just say “I’m sorry to hear you think that.” You can also state your feelings by saying, “I don’t want to be angry with you, but when I hear you say such things about me, it upsets me.” -
Step 3: Laugh.
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Step 4: Remain calm.
Detailed Guide
Sometimes your friend might not realize that what they said was hurtful or inappropriate.
Perhaps they thought you would take it as a joke, or maybe they did not think before they spoke.
Don’t be afraid to tell them how you feel in a direct but gentle manner.
Your friend might realize that certain topics or jokes are off-limits with you.
You can try saying something like “I’m really hurt by that” or “When you say things like that, I feel as though I am worthless.” Try not to respond with sarcasm.
Your friend might mistake it as acceptance of what they are doing.
For example, if your friend makes a comment on your weight, instead of a dry “thanks,” try saying, “I don’t find that funny.”
Sometimes bullies will upset you just to see your reaction afterwards.
If you learn how to brush off insults, you will not be giving your friend any satisfaction from the put down, and they may stop when they realize that they have no power over you.
One way to do this is to simply ignore the insult and assert your positive qualities.
Swallow your anger and make a statement that both calls attention to the inappropriateness of the statement while signaling that you don’t care what they think.For example, if your friend puts down your appearance, say, “I don’t care what you think.
I think I look beautiful.” , When someone puts you down, they may be trying to assert dominance over you by reducing your confidence.
Humor can turn the situation around by giving you control over the insult.
If you cannot come up with a witty comeback, try just laughing in response.
If your friend really meant to hurt you, you will be proving to them that you are too strong for such silly tactics.If the insult really hurts you, tell your friend that you do not find it funny.
Don’t make a joke at your friend’s expense, or it will continue the cycle of insults.
Instead, use self-deprecating humor.
By being able to make fun of yourself, you demonstrate that you don’t care what others think and that you are comfortable in your own skin.
This can help discourage others from making fun of you! , Anger is a natural response to insults, but it can worsen the situation.
If you respond to your friend with anger, they will try to accuse you of overreacting, and they will use your anger against you later on.
Instead, remain calm and try to display indifference to your friend.
When speaking to them, use a flat tone of voice.
If you are very angry, express it through your words.
A good calm dismissal is to just say “I’m sorry to hear you think that.” You can also state your feelings by saying, “I don’t want to be angry with you, but when I hear you say such things about me, it upsets me.”
About the Author
Debra Fox
Committed to making cooking accessible and understandable for everyone.
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