How to Talk to a Guy Who Doesn't Like You Anymore
Ask yourself if it’s really necessary., Be polite., Get straight to the point., Avoid long speeches about difficult topics., Switch topics if the conversation turns into a fight., Text or email if that works better.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Ask yourself if it’s really necessary.
If he doesn’t like you anymore, accept the fact that he probably doesn’t want to shoot the breeze.
Save yourself from any pain or embarrassment.
Take a step back and think about whatever it is you want to talk to him about.If it’s something that you really need to discuss, go ahead and do so.
But if you’re just using this an excuse to have one more talk with him, bite your tongue and let it go. -
Step 2: Be polite.
Regardless of what you need to talk about, ensure that your conversation will be productive by acting civil.
Keep a calm, neutral tone.
Address him the same way that you would, say, ask for help from a clerk at a store, like:“Hey, do you have a second? I just need to ask you something real quick.” “Hi there.
Do you mind if I ask you something if you’re not busy?” “Sorry to interrupt, but could I steal you away for a few seconds?” , Anticipate the likelihood that he probably doesn’t want to get involved in a meandering conversation.
Don’t beat around the bush trying to get to whatever it is you need to discuss.
Bring it up first thing in a matter-of-fact way so he doesn’t feel like you’re wasting his time or acting clingy.
For instance, just say:“I just remembered that I left my sweater at your place.
Do you mind bringing it in tomorrow?” “Doug called me last night to say he’s going to be in town next week, and he wants to see you.
Just letting you know.” “I just wanted to return that book you lent me.
Here you go.” , If what you need to talk about is way more serious than a lost sweater, don’t go on and on about it.
Say your piece as clearly and simply as you can, and leave it at that.
Avoid repeating or paraphrasing yourself so you don’t lose his attention or make him feel defensive, since this will only make him act less responsive.For example, if you need to find out why he stopped talking to you all of a sudden, address the issue briefly and directly, like: "I'm just confused about why you've stopped talking to me.
I'm not sure if it's because it's something I said or did.
I'd like to know why." Of course, what you have to say may be a little complex.
If so, write it down and rehearse it beforehand.
Aim to say everything you need to say in five minutes or less. , Shelve whatever issue you’re talking about if you both find yourselves arguing over it.
Redirect the conversation to another topic to get it moving in a positive direction again.
For example:
Let’s say the two of you were in a relationship and adopted a dog together, which is a pretty big deal.
Now you’re arguing about whether only one of you will keep it or if you’ll both share custody, and you’ve reached a stalemate.
Just say, “We can deal with this later,” and bring up a new topic that you need to discuss.
Ideally, pick one that he’s likely to agree with you about, like, say, cancelling reservations for that Vegas vacation you booked before breaking up.
The more that the two of you come to agreements about easy subjects, the more receptive he’ll be when you need to return to the more difficult ones.
This isn’t a guarantee that he’ll change his mind, but it should at least reset the tone so it’s more civil. , Write him a line if talking in person is too awkward, painful, or counterproductive.
Give yourself the chance to put yourself in his shoes while reading it over and rephrase your message if needed.
Give him the chance to process what you have to say without feeling put on the spot.
This way he can really think things over before responding.
Similarly, use the post office if you need to send or return something, like that book he lent you.
Stick in a simple note like “Didn’t want you to think I stole it,” put it in the mailbox, and be done with it. -
Step 3: Get straight to the point.
-
Step 4: Avoid long speeches about difficult topics.
-
Step 5: Switch topics if the conversation turns into a fight.
-
Step 6: Text or email if that works better.
Detailed Guide
If he doesn’t like you anymore, accept the fact that he probably doesn’t want to shoot the breeze.
Save yourself from any pain or embarrassment.
Take a step back and think about whatever it is you want to talk to him about.If it’s something that you really need to discuss, go ahead and do so.
But if you’re just using this an excuse to have one more talk with him, bite your tongue and let it go.
Regardless of what you need to talk about, ensure that your conversation will be productive by acting civil.
Keep a calm, neutral tone.
Address him the same way that you would, say, ask for help from a clerk at a store, like:“Hey, do you have a second? I just need to ask you something real quick.” “Hi there.
Do you mind if I ask you something if you’re not busy?” “Sorry to interrupt, but could I steal you away for a few seconds?” , Anticipate the likelihood that he probably doesn’t want to get involved in a meandering conversation.
Don’t beat around the bush trying to get to whatever it is you need to discuss.
Bring it up first thing in a matter-of-fact way so he doesn’t feel like you’re wasting his time or acting clingy.
For instance, just say:“I just remembered that I left my sweater at your place.
Do you mind bringing it in tomorrow?” “Doug called me last night to say he’s going to be in town next week, and he wants to see you.
Just letting you know.” “I just wanted to return that book you lent me.
Here you go.” , If what you need to talk about is way more serious than a lost sweater, don’t go on and on about it.
Say your piece as clearly and simply as you can, and leave it at that.
Avoid repeating or paraphrasing yourself so you don’t lose his attention or make him feel defensive, since this will only make him act less responsive.For example, if you need to find out why he stopped talking to you all of a sudden, address the issue briefly and directly, like: "I'm just confused about why you've stopped talking to me.
I'm not sure if it's because it's something I said or did.
I'd like to know why." Of course, what you have to say may be a little complex.
If so, write it down and rehearse it beforehand.
Aim to say everything you need to say in five minutes or less. , Shelve whatever issue you’re talking about if you both find yourselves arguing over it.
Redirect the conversation to another topic to get it moving in a positive direction again.
For example:
Let’s say the two of you were in a relationship and adopted a dog together, which is a pretty big deal.
Now you’re arguing about whether only one of you will keep it or if you’ll both share custody, and you’ve reached a stalemate.
Just say, “We can deal with this later,” and bring up a new topic that you need to discuss.
Ideally, pick one that he’s likely to agree with you about, like, say, cancelling reservations for that Vegas vacation you booked before breaking up.
The more that the two of you come to agreements about easy subjects, the more receptive he’ll be when you need to return to the more difficult ones.
This isn’t a guarantee that he’ll change his mind, but it should at least reset the tone so it’s more civil. , Write him a line if talking in person is too awkward, painful, or counterproductive.
Give yourself the chance to put yourself in his shoes while reading it over and rephrase your message if needed.
Give him the chance to process what you have to say without feeling put on the spot.
This way he can really think things over before responding.
Similarly, use the post office if you need to send or return something, like that book he lent you.
Stick in a simple note like “Didn’t want you to think I stole it,” put it in the mailbox, and be done with it.
About the Author
Kimberly Webb
Experienced content creator specializing in hobbies guides and tutorials.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: