How to Win Friends and Influence People
Dress sharply., Maintain hygiene., Take care of your hair., Maintain your possessions., Control your body language., Stay active.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Dress sharply.
Think about costumes.
People wear costumes to project an image others will understand immediately, whether it's zombie, firefighter, or bride.
The fact is, every outfit you wear is a costume – even your day-to-day clothes.
They say a lot about you to the people who see them.
Use your clothes to project an image of yourself that shows people the traits they look for in a friend: confidence, happiness, stability.
Generally speaking, this means wearing clean, crisp, well-fit items of clothing that are coordinated so that colors and patterns complement each other.
This shows that you like yourself well enough to mind your appearance, are responsible enough to maintain it, and are confident enough not to hide it. -
Step 2: Maintain hygiene.
At handshake distance and closer, the difference between poor hygiene and proper hygiene becomes readily apparent.
If you want to connect with people, you're going to need to get that close, so it pays to keep your body as clean and well-maintained as you keep your clothes.
Shower daily, washing your hair no less than 3 and no more than 5 times a week; brush your teeth at least twice daily, and floss at least once daily; wash your face, comb or brush your hair, and apply deodorant every morning.
Be mindful of longer-term considerations such as keeping your nails clipped and, for men, keeping your facial hair properly trimmed or shaved.
Women can choose to shave their underarm and leg hair based on their personal preference, but be aware that some people still consider not shaving those areas a sign of poor self-image or self-discipline.
To reach the widest potential audience, it's still safest to keep them shaved smooth. , No matter the length of your hair, you should maintain it with regular cuts, thins, or trims at a salon or barber shop you trust.
Be sure you can always make it look neat and sharp, even if you don't always wear it that way at home. , More specifically speaking, your home and your vehicle (if you have one) are the two most important things you should be keeping up.
You never know when you'll have unexpected guests, or who'll see your bike or car as you're getting into or out of it.
Besides, keeping your surroundings neat helps you to feel good about your life.
Cars should be washed every month or so, kept clean of detritus on the seats and floor, and be serviced according to a regular schedule for things like oil changes and tire rotation.
Bicycles should be hand washed every month or so (more if your bike tends to get muddy or dusty), and tuned up twice a year at a bike shop.
Your home should stay as neat as you can reasonably keep it.
Clear dishes and clean the kitchen after dinner every day to avoid buildup.
Wash laundry as often as you can afford to, and be sure to fold it and put it away once it's clean.
If you have a yard, keep it free of debris by raking it periodically.
Keep your walkway and driveway swept and neat. , It's been said time and again, because it's true: body language is a powerful means of communication between people.
This is because it's hard to fake, and says a lot about our emotional states from moment to moment.
In many ways, observing a person's body language as they speak can tell you more about that person than the words he or she is speaking.
That's why it's so important to do what you can to use your own body language to tell people what they'd like to hear about you.
Body language is complex and very context sensitive: the same motion or posture can have different meanings based on who exhibits it, where, and when.
Rather than trying to read everyone else's body language, try to make yours easy for them to read instead.
Control what you can control and disregard everything else.
Move boldly and without hesitation.
This doesn't mean you should move quickly or sharply; rather it means your movements should broadcast an aura of confidence.
When you shake someone's hand, give it a good firm squeeze – you'll be surprised how many people notice.
Walk smoothly at your own pace, without stepping gingerly or hunching your shoulders.
Let your arms swing as you step.
Mind your posture.
It's been said time and again by every third-grade teacher across the globe, but proper posture is important.
Your shoulders should rest slightly back from your chest, keeping your back from hunching forward.
Your neck should continue the line of your spine, and not allow your chin to jut forward.
Proper posture not only demonstrates confidence and self-esteem, it also allows you to breathe more easily, and reduces the risk of chronic back pain as you get older.
Use your face to your advantage.
If the eyes are the windows to the soul, the face is a floodgate waiting to be opened.
Always do your best to smile genuinely, make generous eye contact (especially when others are talking to you), and let your face be animated, which shows sincerity and empathy.
People would rather be around someone who smiles and laughs all the time than someone who always looks distant or serious. , Even an unhealthy body gets an aura of health around it when the owner of that body makes a sustained effort to reinvigorate it.
Exercise as regularly as you can, and eat modestly.
If you have trouble setting any kind of a schedule, remember that any effort is still better than no effort at all.
Even just a few minutes of exercise after you wake up or come home from work will help you maintain your posture, control your body language, and have more energy. -
Step 3: Take care of your hair.
-
Step 4: Maintain your possessions.
-
Step 5: Control your body language.
-
Step 6: Stay active.
Detailed Guide
Think about costumes.
People wear costumes to project an image others will understand immediately, whether it's zombie, firefighter, or bride.
The fact is, every outfit you wear is a costume – even your day-to-day clothes.
They say a lot about you to the people who see them.
Use your clothes to project an image of yourself that shows people the traits they look for in a friend: confidence, happiness, stability.
Generally speaking, this means wearing clean, crisp, well-fit items of clothing that are coordinated so that colors and patterns complement each other.
This shows that you like yourself well enough to mind your appearance, are responsible enough to maintain it, and are confident enough not to hide it.
At handshake distance and closer, the difference between poor hygiene and proper hygiene becomes readily apparent.
If you want to connect with people, you're going to need to get that close, so it pays to keep your body as clean and well-maintained as you keep your clothes.
Shower daily, washing your hair no less than 3 and no more than 5 times a week; brush your teeth at least twice daily, and floss at least once daily; wash your face, comb or brush your hair, and apply deodorant every morning.
Be mindful of longer-term considerations such as keeping your nails clipped and, for men, keeping your facial hair properly trimmed or shaved.
Women can choose to shave their underarm and leg hair based on their personal preference, but be aware that some people still consider not shaving those areas a sign of poor self-image or self-discipline.
To reach the widest potential audience, it's still safest to keep them shaved smooth. , No matter the length of your hair, you should maintain it with regular cuts, thins, or trims at a salon or barber shop you trust.
Be sure you can always make it look neat and sharp, even if you don't always wear it that way at home. , More specifically speaking, your home and your vehicle (if you have one) are the two most important things you should be keeping up.
You never know when you'll have unexpected guests, or who'll see your bike or car as you're getting into or out of it.
Besides, keeping your surroundings neat helps you to feel good about your life.
Cars should be washed every month or so, kept clean of detritus on the seats and floor, and be serviced according to a regular schedule for things like oil changes and tire rotation.
Bicycles should be hand washed every month or so (more if your bike tends to get muddy or dusty), and tuned up twice a year at a bike shop.
Your home should stay as neat as you can reasonably keep it.
Clear dishes and clean the kitchen after dinner every day to avoid buildup.
Wash laundry as often as you can afford to, and be sure to fold it and put it away once it's clean.
If you have a yard, keep it free of debris by raking it periodically.
Keep your walkway and driveway swept and neat. , It's been said time and again, because it's true: body language is a powerful means of communication between people.
This is because it's hard to fake, and says a lot about our emotional states from moment to moment.
In many ways, observing a person's body language as they speak can tell you more about that person than the words he or she is speaking.
That's why it's so important to do what you can to use your own body language to tell people what they'd like to hear about you.
Body language is complex and very context sensitive: the same motion or posture can have different meanings based on who exhibits it, where, and when.
Rather than trying to read everyone else's body language, try to make yours easy for them to read instead.
Control what you can control and disregard everything else.
Move boldly and without hesitation.
This doesn't mean you should move quickly or sharply; rather it means your movements should broadcast an aura of confidence.
When you shake someone's hand, give it a good firm squeeze – you'll be surprised how many people notice.
Walk smoothly at your own pace, without stepping gingerly or hunching your shoulders.
Let your arms swing as you step.
Mind your posture.
It's been said time and again by every third-grade teacher across the globe, but proper posture is important.
Your shoulders should rest slightly back from your chest, keeping your back from hunching forward.
Your neck should continue the line of your spine, and not allow your chin to jut forward.
Proper posture not only demonstrates confidence and self-esteem, it also allows you to breathe more easily, and reduces the risk of chronic back pain as you get older.
Use your face to your advantage.
If the eyes are the windows to the soul, the face is a floodgate waiting to be opened.
Always do your best to smile genuinely, make generous eye contact (especially when others are talking to you), and let your face be animated, which shows sincerity and empathy.
People would rather be around someone who smiles and laughs all the time than someone who always looks distant or serious. , Even an unhealthy body gets an aura of health around it when the owner of that body makes a sustained effort to reinvigorate it.
Exercise as regularly as you can, and eat modestly.
If you have trouble setting any kind of a schedule, remember that any effort is still better than no effort at all.
Even just a few minutes of exercise after you wake up or come home from work will help you maintain your posture, control your body language, and have more energy.
About the Author
Elizabeth Wells
Experienced content creator specializing in home improvement guides and tutorials.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: