How to Pick up a Guy at a Bar
Go with friends., Choose the bar., Look at the people the guy is hanging out with., Act confident., Make eye contact., Think of an icebreaker., Introduce yourself., Watch his response., Have a conversation., Look for mirroring., Be clear about your...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Go with friends.
Having fun with friends can make you look more attractive and interesting.
It also provides a confidence boost, and people to watch your back.
Just remember that people can find it intimidating to approach a large group of friends.
Be ready to break the ice yourself if you need to. -
Step 2: Choose the bar.
Different bars attract different people.
There's no one right choice, but try to find a place that suits your own mood and intentions.
If everyone at the bar is dancing, you'd better be willing to join in.
If they're all watching sports, you'll need to be familiar with that culture. , It's more difficult to pick up a guy if he's in a group of friends, or if he's engrossed in a conversation that's tough to interrupt.
Definitely don't try to pick up someone who arrived at the bar with a girl. , The more relaxed and confident you can be, the better impression you can make. , If you're not sitting next to the guy, it can be difficult to start a conversation.
Meet his eyes across the room instead.
If you want to turn up the sexiness, put on a half smile, tilt your head to one side, and check him out slowly.
If you're not sure whether the guy's in to you, take it slow.
Make eye contact occasionally over the course of 10 to 15 minutes.
If he's still meeting your eyes, go for it. , Before you talk to the guy, think of something to say.
A specific compliment is a great way to go.
Tell him why you set your eyes on him instead of the other guys at the bar.
Just take care not to come on too strong — at first, you're just trying to set up an introduction.
If you're extra shy, ask the guy to take a picture of you and your friends.
Avoid cheesy pickup lines. , He seems interested, no one's hanging onto his arm, and it's time to make your move.
A sincere introduction is often the best way to go.
If he didn't approach you when you caught his eye, walk over to his end of the bar, tell him your name, and say "I just thought we should meet," "Do you want to dance?" or "Do you mind if I sit down?" The subtext is obvious.
If you don't want to be too obvious about it, wait until he stands up and "bump into him." "Want to buy me a drink?" isn't a bad opener, but showing up with your own drink makes it more obvious that you're interested in him, rather than just trying to save a few dollars.
You can even offer to buy him a drink if he doesn't have one. , A lot of people will automatically respond with pleasantries or agreeable statements.
If the guy's really into you, he'll continue to make eye contact, and make effort to drive the conversation forward.
If he seems distracted or uninterested, politely excuse yourself.
He may not be looking for the same thing you are. , Act natural and enjoy a friendly conversation with the guy.
Flirting is great, but even just laughing and smiling goes a long way toward forming a connection.
If you overheard what he and his friends were talking about — and it's a topic that genuinely captures your interest — add your own opinion or make a joke about it.
If you don't know what to say, ask for more details about him or about what he just said.
People enjoy talking about themselves. , You probably already "mirror" people you're interested in subconsciously.
This means you subtly copy his stance, mannerisms, and actions.
Don't try to do this intentionally (which can come across as a bit creepy), but do look for signs that he's doing it to you.
Mirroring is a definite sign of interest. , Do you want a one night stand or a date? Are you looking for his phone number, or just a flirty conversation? Most of this gets communicated over the course of a conversation, but sometimes you need to be forthright.
If he doesn't pick up on your hints, just tell him "Come back to my place" or "What's your phone number?" Either he'll accept, or he's not looking for the same thing you are anyway. -
Step 3: Look at the people the guy is hanging out with.
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Step 4: Act confident.
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Step 5: Make eye contact.
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Step 6: Think of an icebreaker.
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Step 7: Introduce yourself.
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Step 8: Watch his response.
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Step 9: Have a conversation.
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Step 10: Look for mirroring.
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Step 11: Be clear about your intentions.
Detailed Guide
Having fun with friends can make you look more attractive and interesting.
It also provides a confidence boost, and people to watch your back.
Just remember that people can find it intimidating to approach a large group of friends.
Be ready to break the ice yourself if you need to.
Different bars attract different people.
There's no one right choice, but try to find a place that suits your own mood and intentions.
If everyone at the bar is dancing, you'd better be willing to join in.
If they're all watching sports, you'll need to be familiar with that culture. , It's more difficult to pick up a guy if he's in a group of friends, or if he's engrossed in a conversation that's tough to interrupt.
Definitely don't try to pick up someone who arrived at the bar with a girl. , The more relaxed and confident you can be, the better impression you can make. , If you're not sitting next to the guy, it can be difficult to start a conversation.
Meet his eyes across the room instead.
If you want to turn up the sexiness, put on a half smile, tilt your head to one side, and check him out slowly.
If you're not sure whether the guy's in to you, take it slow.
Make eye contact occasionally over the course of 10 to 15 minutes.
If he's still meeting your eyes, go for it. , Before you talk to the guy, think of something to say.
A specific compliment is a great way to go.
Tell him why you set your eyes on him instead of the other guys at the bar.
Just take care not to come on too strong — at first, you're just trying to set up an introduction.
If you're extra shy, ask the guy to take a picture of you and your friends.
Avoid cheesy pickup lines. , He seems interested, no one's hanging onto his arm, and it's time to make your move.
A sincere introduction is often the best way to go.
If he didn't approach you when you caught his eye, walk over to his end of the bar, tell him your name, and say "I just thought we should meet," "Do you want to dance?" or "Do you mind if I sit down?" The subtext is obvious.
If you don't want to be too obvious about it, wait until he stands up and "bump into him." "Want to buy me a drink?" isn't a bad opener, but showing up with your own drink makes it more obvious that you're interested in him, rather than just trying to save a few dollars.
You can even offer to buy him a drink if he doesn't have one. , A lot of people will automatically respond with pleasantries or agreeable statements.
If the guy's really into you, he'll continue to make eye contact, and make effort to drive the conversation forward.
If he seems distracted or uninterested, politely excuse yourself.
He may not be looking for the same thing you are. , Act natural and enjoy a friendly conversation with the guy.
Flirting is great, but even just laughing and smiling goes a long way toward forming a connection.
If you overheard what he and his friends were talking about — and it's a topic that genuinely captures your interest — add your own opinion or make a joke about it.
If you don't know what to say, ask for more details about him or about what he just said.
People enjoy talking about themselves. , You probably already "mirror" people you're interested in subconsciously.
This means you subtly copy his stance, mannerisms, and actions.
Don't try to do this intentionally (which can come across as a bit creepy), but do look for signs that he's doing it to you.
Mirroring is a definite sign of interest. , Do you want a one night stand or a date? Are you looking for his phone number, or just a flirty conversation? Most of this gets communicated over the course of a conversation, but sometimes you need to be forthright.
If he doesn't pick up on your hints, just tell him "Come back to my place" or "What's your phone number?" Either he'll accept, or he's not looking for the same thing you are anyway.
About the Author
Nathan Webb
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow DIY projects tutorials.
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