How to Make Friends in School
Make eye contact., Smile., Be a good listener., Have open body language., Learn to read other's body language and social cues., Start slow with small conversation-openers., Be yourself.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Make eye contact.
If you’re shy, it can be hard to meet others' eyes.
But doing this can make the difference in others gravitating toward you to make conversation, or being put off by your energy.
The correct ratio of eye contact depends on the person, the context, and any cultural factors.
Still, maintaining eye contact between 30 and 60% of the time during conversation is preferable.
Typically, you must hold eye contact more when you are listening than when speaking. -
Step 2: Smile.
Smiling doesn’t just feel good to us.
Sure, a smile can combat stress and relieve pain, but others are more attracted to you when you do it.
Smiles are also contagious; so, you’re more likely to get one in return when you give one., Improving your listening skills can significantly influence how great a friend you can be.
Showing that you are willing to share the talking time makes the other person feel respected and valued.
Here are just a few of the habits of good listeners:
Good listeners allow the other person to finish talking before inserting a remark.
Good listeners ask for clarification when they don’t understand the speaker (e.g. “I’m confused…do you mean?”).
Good listeners encourage the speaker to continue talking by giving feedback (e.g. “Go on, I hear you.” or “Really?”).
Good listeners indicate their attention by using nonverbal gestures such as smiling, laughing, or nodding.
Good listeners try to match the emotional energy of the speaker to demonstrate they understand the message (e.g. raising your voice or dropping your jaw to indicate surprise). , As you can see, the nonverbal parts of communication are often just as important as what actually comes out of your mouth.
If your body language is open, you are more likely to be perceived positively by others around you.
Open body language consists of legs stretched out, posture relaxed, knees apart, leaning forward, elbows away from the body, and arms and legs uncrossed.
When making conversation, avoid standing when others are sitting (when can be construed as intimidation), fidgeting, or turning away from the person you are talking to. , Sometimes, others may not come off as approachable.
Certain kids at school may not want to make friends or have a new kid join their group.
Pay attention to the cues of others before entering into new social situations.
For example, if a person is exhibiting closed body language
- arms and legs crossed and elbows tight near the torso
- they may not be willing to engage in conversation.Other social cues may include a frowning or sneering facial expression or taking a step back.
People who are interested will usually have a mild or welcoming facial expression and move in close to your personal space., Sometimes, all it takes to initiate a lasting friendship is an interesting story between the two of you.
Rather than approaching people and trying to find out every single fact in one go, take small steps by asking intriguing questions that can bridge into a longer conversation.
You can ask questions like:”How do you know ____ (insert name of a mutual acquaintance)?” ”What was the peak of your day?” ”What movies, books, TV shows have you enjoyed lately?” ”What’s your favorite thing to do over the weekend?” ”What was the craziest YouTube video you watched this week?" "What sports are you into right now?"
You may feel pressured to become more like popular people or others who have tons of friends.
Picking up a few practical habits through observation can be beneficial, but you should never change who you are to gain friends.
Doing so is unfair to you and the other person.
There is surely someone out there who will enjoy you for you. -
Step 3: Be a good listener.
-
Step 4: Have open body language.
-
Step 5: Learn to read other's body language and social cues.
-
Step 6: Start slow with small conversation-openers.
-
Step 7: Be yourself.
Detailed Guide
If you’re shy, it can be hard to meet others' eyes.
But doing this can make the difference in others gravitating toward you to make conversation, or being put off by your energy.
The correct ratio of eye contact depends on the person, the context, and any cultural factors.
Still, maintaining eye contact between 30 and 60% of the time during conversation is preferable.
Typically, you must hold eye contact more when you are listening than when speaking.
Smiling doesn’t just feel good to us.
Sure, a smile can combat stress and relieve pain, but others are more attracted to you when you do it.
Smiles are also contagious; so, you’re more likely to get one in return when you give one., Improving your listening skills can significantly influence how great a friend you can be.
Showing that you are willing to share the talking time makes the other person feel respected and valued.
Here are just a few of the habits of good listeners:
Good listeners allow the other person to finish talking before inserting a remark.
Good listeners ask for clarification when they don’t understand the speaker (e.g. “I’m confused…do you mean?”).
Good listeners encourage the speaker to continue talking by giving feedback (e.g. “Go on, I hear you.” or “Really?”).
Good listeners indicate their attention by using nonverbal gestures such as smiling, laughing, or nodding.
Good listeners try to match the emotional energy of the speaker to demonstrate they understand the message (e.g. raising your voice or dropping your jaw to indicate surprise). , As you can see, the nonverbal parts of communication are often just as important as what actually comes out of your mouth.
If your body language is open, you are more likely to be perceived positively by others around you.
Open body language consists of legs stretched out, posture relaxed, knees apart, leaning forward, elbows away from the body, and arms and legs uncrossed.
When making conversation, avoid standing when others are sitting (when can be construed as intimidation), fidgeting, or turning away from the person you are talking to. , Sometimes, others may not come off as approachable.
Certain kids at school may not want to make friends or have a new kid join their group.
Pay attention to the cues of others before entering into new social situations.
For example, if a person is exhibiting closed body language
- arms and legs crossed and elbows tight near the torso
- they may not be willing to engage in conversation.Other social cues may include a frowning or sneering facial expression or taking a step back.
People who are interested will usually have a mild or welcoming facial expression and move in close to your personal space., Sometimes, all it takes to initiate a lasting friendship is an interesting story between the two of you.
Rather than approaching people and trying to find out every single fact in one go, take small steps by asking intriguing questions that can bridge into a longer conversation.
You can ask questions like:”How do you know ____ (insert name of a mutual acquaintance)?” ”What was the peak of your day?” ”What movies, books, TV shows have you enjoyed lately?” ”What’s your favorite thing to do over the weekend?” ”What was the craziest YouTube video you watched this week?" "What sports are you into right now?"
You may feel pressured to become more like popular people or others who have tons of friends.
Picking up a few practical habits through observation can be beneficial, but you should never change who you are to gain friends.
Doing so is unfair to you and the other person.
There is surely someone out there who will enjoy you for you.
About the Author
Brittany Ellis
Writer and educator with a focus on practical home improvement knowledge.
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