How to Become Less Shy (for Autistic People)
Make a list., Look over your worries., Examine your excuses., Eliminate your excuses., Consider the possibility of Social Anxiety Disorder.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Make a list.
Write down a list of everything you can think of that is preventing you from socializing with other people.
Make sure you organize the list into three categories:
Confusing
-Things that you don't know how to do or have trouble doing.
Examples: "Trouble joining groups"
"Don't know how to make a joke"
etc.
Worried
- Fears you have that prevent you from socializing.
It is especially important to not exclude anything from this list, no matter how ridiculous you may think some of your worries are.
You must write it down in order to face it and get rid of it.
Examples: "Worried I'll have a bad reputation"
"Afraid that my stimming will weird out Connor at the party"
"Worried I'll look like an idiot for saying "hi""
etc.
Excuses
- Excuses you make to avoid social interaction.
Examples: "Eating lunch at home so I don't have to go out with friends," "Doing extra work so I can tell people I'm too busy," etc. -
Step 2: Look over your worries.
If any of them sounded ridiculous to you when you were writing them, then you are already on your way to getting rid of them.
Put a star next to any of the worries that sound ridiculous to you. , As a shy person on the spectrum, chances are that many of the excuses on your list will be things that you have set up yourself to avoid the anxiety of social interactions.
Put an "X" next to the excuses that either you have set up yourself or can be easily worked around.
It is important that you be completely honest with yourself as you are doing this.
Avoid rationalizing your excuses in your head.
When in doubt, "X" it out. , Give yourself a block of time to gradually phase out your use of the "X" excuses.
As a general rule, this timeline should be long enough to ease you into social interactions at a pace that is gradual enough to keep you from feeling too stressed out, but not so long that you feel like you are wasting your life away.
Remember that you don't need to stop using excuses completely.
Be gentle on yourself, and give yourself quiet time when you need it. , You may have this if your fears of socializing are interfering with your ability to function normally or do the things you want to do.
Anxiety disorders can be treated with therapy and/or medication.
Research social anxiety.
Is this something you have? Do the techniques sound like they may help? -
Step 3: Examine your excuses.
-
Step 4: Eliminate your excuses.
-
Step 5: Consider the possibility of Social Anxiety Disorder.
Detailed Guide
Write down a list of everything you can think of that is preventing you from socializing with other people.
Make sure you organize the list into three categories:
Confusing
-Things that you don't know how to do or have trouble doing.
Examples: "Trouble joining groups"
"Don't know how to make a joke"
etc.
Worried
- Fears you have that prevent you from socializing.
It is especially important to not exclude anything from this list, no matter how ridiculous you may think some of your worries are.
You must write it down in order to face it and get rid of it.
Examples: "Worried I'll have a bad reputation"
"Afraid that my stimming will weird out Connor at the party"
"Worried I'll look like an idiot for saying "hi""
etc.
Excuses
- Excuses you make to avoid social interaction.
Examples: "Eating lunch at home so I don't have to go out with friends," "Doing extra work so I can tell people I'm too busy," etc.
If any of them sounded ridiculous to you when you were writing them, then you are already on your way to getting rid of them.
Put a star next to any of the worries that sound ridiculous to you. , As a shy person on the spectrum, chances are that many of the excuses on your list will be things that you have set up yourself to avoid the anxiety of social interactions.
Put an "X" next to the excuses that either you have set up yourself or can be easily worked around.
It is important that you be completely honest with yourself as you are doing this.
Avoid rationalizing your excuses in your head.
When in doubt, "X" it out. , Give yourself a block of time to gradually phase out your use of the "X" excuses.
As a general rule, this timeline should be long enough to ease you into social interactions at a pace that is gradual enough to keep you from feeling too stressed out, but not so long that you feel like you are wasting your life away.
Remember that you don't need to stop using excuses completely.
Be gentle on yourself, and give yourself quiet time when you need it. , You may have this if your fears of socializing are interfering with your ability to function normally or do the things you want to do.
Anxiety disorders can be treated with therapy and/or medication.
Research social anxiety.
Is this something you have? Do the techniques sound like they may help?
About the Author
Isabella Turner
Creates helpful guides on crafts to inspire and educate readers.
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