How to Get Your Friend to Stop Copying You

Talk in private., Begin the conversation gently., Listen to their side of things., Encourage them to be an individual., Manage any defensiveness., End on a high note.

6 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Talk in private.

    Pull your friend to the side and away from the earshot of others to have this talk.

    You don't want to risk embarrassing them or having your business aired out to everyone.

    Ask them to meet you after school or call them at a time you’re both free.Say “Hey Sarah, do you have a few minutes to talk after school? I was thinking we could get ice cream.

    I wanna chat about something.”
  2. Step 2: Begin the conversation gently.

    Avoid jumping straight to the issue; ease into it instead.

    Spend a few minutes chatting about their day or the latest news.

    Once you are both comfortable, you can talk to them about the copying.You can say “Lately, I’ve been feeling like every time I buy a shirt or pair of shoes, you go out and buy the same ones.

    I’ve tried to ignore it but it’s been bothering me and I wanted to talk to you about it.” , Once you have said your peace, listen to what they have to say.

    Don’t interrupt them, and even when you feel that they are wrong, try to see things from their perspective.

    This ‘copying’ could be a coincidence, or perhaps the items that you have are very popular and worn by many people.

    They might also admit that they’ve been copying you.

    If you tend to get more attention or are more confident, them copying you could be a way to feel cooler. , If they do admit to copying you, let them know that you’re not mad at them.

    Talk to them about the reasons you two are friends and the things that you like about them.

    Encourage them to express those things rather than copying your personality or style.For instance, you might say “Kris, you have such a fun personality and I don’t know why you’d want to change that to be more like me.

    I want to be friends with YOU, not a copycat version of myself.” , Your friend might not have taken this news well.

    They might be offended that you think they are copying them.

    Even if they yell or get upset, keep a completely neutral tone and demeanor so they don’t get more upset.When they make valid points, let them know that you understand where they’re coming from. , After this talk, try to be positive.

    Your friend might be feeling a bit low after the chat, but do try to reaffirm your friendship.

    Hug it out and then give them some space to think.

    Text or call them the next day to check in.

    Say something like “I’m glad we could talk about this.

    Thanks for hearing me out.

    I still want us to be friends; that hasn’t changed.

    I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
  3. Step 3: Listen to their side of things.

  4. Step 4: Encourage them to be an individual.

  5. Step 5: Manage any defensiveness.

  6. Step 6: End on a high note.

Detailed Guide

Pull your friend to the side and away from the earshot of others to have this talk.

You don't want to risk embarrassing them or having your business aired out to everyone.

Ask them to meet you after school or call them at a time you’re both free.Say “Hey Sarah, do you have a few minutes to talk after school? I was thinking we could get ice cream.

I wanna chat about something.”

Avoid jumping straight to the issue; ease into it instead.

Spend a few minutes chatting about their day or the latest news.

Once you are both comfortable, you can talk to them about the copying.You can say “Lately, I’ve been feeling like every time I buy a shirt or pair of shoes, you go out and buy the same ones.

I’ve tried to ignore it but it’s been bothering me and I wanted to talk to you about it.” , Once you have said your peace, listen to what they have to say.

Don’t interrupt them, and even when you feel that they are wrong, try to see things from their perspective.

This ‘copying’ could be a coincidence, or perhaps the items that you have are very popular and worn by many people.

They might also admit that they’ve been copying you.

If you tend to get more attention or are more confident, them copying you could be a way to feel cooler. , If they do admit to copying you, let them know that you’re not mad at them.

Talk to them about the reasons you two are friends and the things that you like about them.

Encourage them to express those things rather than copying your personality or style.For instance, you might say “Kris, you have such a fun personality and I don’t know why you’d want to change that to be more like me.

I want to be friends with YOU, not a copycat version of myself.” , Your friend might not have taken this news well.

They might be offended that you think they are copying them.

Even if they yell or get upset, keep a completely neutral tone and demeanor so they don’t get more upset.When they make valid points, let them know that you understand where they’re coming from. , After this talk, try to be positive.

Your friend might be feeling a bit low after the chat, but do try to reaffirm your friendship.

Hug it out and then give them some space to think.

Text or call them the next day to check in.

Say something like “I’m glad we could talk about this.

Thanks for hearing me out.

I still want us to be friends; that hasn’t changed.

I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

About the Author

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Isabella Fox

Experienced content creator specializing in hobbies guides and tutorials.

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