How to Get Your Friends to Stop Fighting with Each Other

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Listen to each of your friends.

   One of the best things you can do for both of your friends is to simply listen to what each one has to say.
   
   Sitting down with each of them individually can help them to express how they feel and it can also help you to see what the fighting is all about if you are not sure.
   
   Ask each of your friends walk you through their point-of-view and explain why they’re upset.
   
   Make sure that you meet with each of your friends separately or else they may just start fighting with each other in front of you.
   
   Try inviting each one over to your house on separate days.
   
   Give your friends your full attention while they are sharing their perspectives.
   
   Put away your cell phone, turn off the TV, and remove any other distractions before you start listening.
   
   While your friend talks, make eye contact and show that you are listening by nodding and making neutral statements, such as “Uh-huh” and “I see.” If something is unclear, ask your friend to clarify.
2. 2

   Step 2: Ask questions to find out what is going on.If your friend are reluctant to share

   Ask open-ended questions to get your friends talking.
   
   Open-ended questions are those that cannot be answered with a simple YES or NO.For example, you might say something like, “What happened with you and Joe the other day?” Or, “It seems like you are upset at Christina.
   
   What’s going on?” It may take a couple of questions for them to open up, but once they do, try not to interrupt. , Since you have an outsider’s perspective, you may be able to clarify if something is untrue.
   
   This might be especially helpful if the argument started over a piece of gossip.
   
   If you have information that might smooth things over, then share it.
   
   For example, if one friend is mad at the other because she thinks the other person said something about her behind her back, and you know that this is not true, then you could say something like, “No, that’s just a rumor someone started.
   
   I was there and she did not say that.” , After speaking with each of your friends one-on-one, you may feel tempted to call each of them up and share what was told to you.
   
   However, this is a bad idea.
   
   Remember that your friends have shared their perspectives and feelings with you in confidence.
   
   Do not share anything that you were told unless you have permission from your friend to do so.
3. 3

   Step 3: then you may have to ask some questions to get them talking.

4. 4

   Step 4: Clarify if something is unclear or untrue.

5. 5

   Step 5: Keep what you have heard to yourself.

Detailed Guide

About the Author