How to Help and Support a Friend Through Any Hardship
Reach out to them repeatedly even if they push you away., Be the calm one as they are already upset enough., Listen a lot, but do speak up now and then., Recognize different techniques for different hardship., Offer physical touch to your friend...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Reach out to them repeatedly even if they push you away.
You can’t help a friend if you retreat when problems arise.
To be a good friend, you need to be there for late night talks or tears.
For some people, a friend’s hardship is an annoyance.
That’s not really friendship.
Even if they say they want to be alone, at least make the offer.
However, you should not force them to talk when they are not ready to do so.
Give them the space they ask for, then reach out again.
Several times.
Don’t run away.
Sometimes people aren’t sure what to say when a friend is going through a hardship, so they say nothing or distance.
This could hurt your friend more.
The number one goal should be to offer support.
Just knowing someone is willing to listen or offer advice or cares can make all of the difference to a friend going through hardship.
Call, text or write and just ask, “How are you? Is there anything you need or that I can to do?” Part of reaching out is just being available.
Keep your cell phone on, and talk to them at 2 a.m. if they are in a crisis.
Answer their texts.
Don’t always be too busy to listen.
Don’t feel you have to act differently.
Pick the right setting, and avoid ambushing them if they aren't ready to talk. -
Step 2: Be the calm one as they are already upset enough.
Be the rock in the storm they can cling to, and think of yourself as offering them an anchor.
If you are also upset about the hardship, try not to let it show.
Do not freak out.
This will only make the friend feel like the problem is bigger or unsolvable, so it will make them more upset.
Recognize that some people just need to feel badly for awhile, and that’s okay.
Although you should show empathy, showing them that you pity them excessively might make them feel worse.
Don’t take impulse actions that might make the problem worse for the friend.
After all, you don’t understand your friend’s problem as much as they do.
Ask your friend before you do anything to help them rectify the situation.
See how they feel about it (unless they are in danger or being abused, then you have to tell someone immediately). , You should be a good listener, but it can also be helpful to a friend going through hardship if you talk.
Part of good listening is showing empathetic eye contact.Tell them positive stories about others’ experiences and outcomes and your own if you think it will make things better.
But pause, too, and make sure you listen.
Sometimes people just need to let it out and vent.
Remember your friend is already hurting enough.
Stay positive, positive, positive.
It’s why they turned to you in the first place:
For help.
Let them ramble on for a while.
Maybe they just need to get it all out.
Even a sympathetic nod of understanding or a comment like, “I will help you get through this.
You’re a strong person” can go a long way. , You may need a very different response for someone grieving a death of a loved one compared to someone going through financial hardship, for example.
So spend some time researching their particular situation.
If they are hurting financially, you could help them plan a budget, offer to look at their expenses with an objective eye, and suggest a financial counselor.
Be very careful about loaning money to family or friends.
It can ruin relationships.If they are grieving a death or any other loss, recognize that experts believe there are different stages of grief.
The stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, finally, acceptance.
Connect your friend to credible, outside resources where they can get more help from someone who is an expert or trained in the area of their hardship. , Or gently touch their shoulder.
Conveying empathy through physical touch is bound to make them feel a little better or at least cared for.
Sometimes all they need is a hug.
No need to say anything
- just open your arms and they'll hug you.
Hold on for as long as possible as this will show them that you are there for them.
Make them laugh.
Do a song or dance or tell a joke.
Once they have started laughing it will be more easy for them to recover and think about what they should do. -
Step 3: Listen a lot
-
Step 4: but do speak up now and then.
-
Step 5: Recognize different techniques for different hardship.
-
Step 6: Offer physical touch to your friend through a comforting hug.
Detailed Guide
You can’t help a friend if you retreat when problems arise.
To be a good friend, you need to be there for late night talks or tears.
For some people, a friend’s hardship is an annoyance.
That’s not really friendship.
Even if they say they want to be alone, at least make the offer.
However, you should not force them to talk when they are not ready to do so.
Give them the space they ask for, then reach out again.
Several times.
Don’t run away.
Sometimes people aren’t sure what to say when a friend is going through a hardship, so they say nothing or distance.
This could hurt your friend more.
The number one goal should be to offer support.
Just knowing someone is willing to listen or offer advice or cares can make all of the difference to a friend going through hardship.
Call, text or write and just ask, “How are you? Is there anything you need or that I can to do?” Part of reaching out is just being available.
Keep your cell phone on, and talk to them at 2 a.m. if they are in a crisis.
Answer their texts.
Don’t always be too busy to listen.
Don’t feel you have to act differently.
Pick the right setting, and avoid ambushing them if they aren't ready to talk.
Be the rock in the storm they can cling to, and think of yourself as offering them an anchor.
If you are also upset about the hardship, try not to let it show.
Do not freak out.
This will only make the friend feel like the problem is bigger or unsolvable, so it will make them more upset.
Recognize that some people just need to feel badly for awhile, and that’s okay.
Although you should show empathy, showing them that you pity them excessively might make them feel worse.
Don’t take impulse actions that might make the problem worse for the friend.
After all, you don’t understand your friend’s problem as much as they do.
Ask your friend before you do anything to help them rectify the situation.
See how they feel about it (unless they are in danger or being abused, then you have to tell someone immediately). , You should be a good listener, but it can also be helpful to a friend going through hardship if you talk.
Part of good listening is showing empathetic eye contact.Tell them positive stories about others’ experiences and outcomes and your own if you think it will make things better.
But pause, too, and make sure you listen.
Sometimes people just need to let it out and vent.
Remember your friend is already hurting enough.
Stay positive, positive, positive.
It’s why they turned to you in the first place:
For help.
Let them ramble on for a while.
Maybe they just need to get it all out.
Even a sympathetic nod of understanding or a comment like, “I will help you get through this.
You’re a strong person” can go a long way. , You may need a very different response for someone grieving a death of a loved one compared to someone going through financial hardship, for example.
So spend some time researching their particular situation.
If they are hurting financially, you could help them plan a budget, offer to look at their expenses with an objective eye, and suggest a financial counselor.
Be very careful about loaning money to family or friends.
It can ruin relationships.If they are grieving a death or any other loss, recognize that experts believe there are different stages of grief.
The stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, finally, acceptance.
Connect your friend to credible, outside resources where they can get more help from someone who is an expert or trained in the area of their hardship. , Or gently touch their shoulder.
Conveying empathy through physical touch is bound to make them feel a little better or at least cared for.
Sometimes all they need is a hug.
No need to say anything
- just open your arms and they'll hug you.
Hold on for as long as possible as this will show them that you are there for them.
Make them laugh.
Do a song or dance or tell a joke.
Once they have started laughing it will be more easy for them to recover and think about what they should do.
About the Author
Margaret Stevens
Committed to making creative arts accessible and understandable for everyone.
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