How to Keep a Conversation Going
Keep track of what the other person is saying by being a good listener., Get a feel for what the other person wants to talk about., Stay aware of what's going on in the world., Make sure your body language is saying the right things., Project...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Keep track of what the other person is saying by being a good listener.
A conversation is a free flow of ideas.
Those ideas, however, should be interconnected.
If you listen closely to what the other person is saying, you'll be able to store away nuggets of information that will keep the conversation going. , Different people like talking about different things.
Finding what the other person enjoys talking about could mean the difference between a humming conversation and a faltering one.
Take what you already know about the person into consideration.
People like talking about what they know.
If you know any of the following things about a person, that's a good start:
Their job/career Their passion/hobby Their family/friends Their heritage/history Use the things you know about the person to steer a conversation.
If, for example, you know that the person you're talking to rides bulls for a living, ask them about other bull riders, or cowboy culture, or what it was like the first time they rode. , When you run out of things to talk about in a conversation, it can be helpful to talk about other things that are going on in the world.
Saying something like "Hey, did you hear what's going on in Australia? The Prime Minister there has just been indicted on three counts of robbery.
Can you believe it?" is a good way to get a person's attention and continue the conversation. , People listen to your words and your body language when you're talking to them.
In fact, the 7%-38%-55% rule, developed by Dr.
Albert Mehrabian, states that what we say only accounts for 7% of whether we are liked by a person, whereas our body language accounts for 55% of whether we are liked.Some tips for you as you continue to work on your body language:
Don't cross your arms — or your legs.
This can come off as haughty to the other person.
Maintain good eye contact without staring.
Meeting and smiling at another person's eyes is a good thing; staring at the person so long that they feel uncomfortable is not.
Keep your shoulders relaxed.
Tension in your body can manifest as tension in your shoulders.
If another person spots that tension, they're more likely to be ill at ease.
Nod every so often and lean forward.
Nodding tells your conversational partner that you're keeping along, while leaning forward communicates that you're interested in the person.
Face the other person and don't fidget.
Give your undivided attention to the other person by facing them.
Show them that you're zoned into the conversation by not fidgeting. , It's no secret that other people are naturally attracted to individuals who have confidence.
It may seem unfair, but it's a fact of life: people will judge you based on your own internal confidence.
If your confidence level is high and you're fun to be around, people will cut you breaks when conversation slacks, or make up for lulls in the conversation by trying harder themselves. , It happens to the best of conversationalists sometimes.
You'll accidentally say something you probably shouldn't have, or you'll simply run out of things to say.
This is normal; don't beat yourself up about it.
If this happens, smile at the other person and look them in the eye.
Reassure them with your body language that the bump in the conversation doesn't mean you dislike them or don't want to be there.
Wait for the conversation to rev back up, which it naturally does. -
Step 2: Get a feel for what the other person wants to talk about.
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Step 3: Stay aware of what's going on in the world.
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Step 4: Make sure your body language is saying the right things.
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Step 5: Project confidence.
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Step 6: Be prepared for the conversation to hit road bumps along the way.
Detailed Guide
A conversation is a free flow of ideas.
Those ideas, however, should be interconnected.
If you listen closely to what the other person is saying, you'll be able to store away nuggets of information that will keep the conversation going. , Different people like talking about different things.
Finding what the other person enjoys talking about could mean the difference between a humming conversation and a faltering one.
Take what you already know about the person into consideration.
People like talking about what they know.
If you know any of the following things about a person, that's a good start:
Their job/career Their passion/hobby Their family/friends Their heritage/history Use the things you know about the person to steer a conversation.
If, for example, you know that the person you're talking to rides bulls for a living, ask them about other bull riders, or cowboy culture, or what it was like the first time they rode. , When you run out of things to talk about in a conversation, it can be helpful to talk about other things that are going on in the world.
Saying something like "Hey, did you hear what's going on in Australia? The Prime Minister there has just been indicted on three counts of robbery.
Can you believe it?" is a good way to get a person's attention and continue the conversation. , People listen to your words and your body language when you're talking to them.
In fact, the 7%-38%-55% rule, developed by Dr.
Albert Mehrabian, states that what we say only accounts for 7% of whether we are liked by a person, whereas our body language accounts for 55% of whether we are liked.Some tips for you as you continue to work on your body language:
Don't cross your arms — or your legs.
This can come off as haughty to the other person.
Maintain good eye contact without staring.
Meeting and smiling at another person's eyes is a good thing; staring at the person so long that they feel uncomfortable is not.
Keep your shoulders relaxed.
Tension in your body can manifest as tension in your shoulders.
If another person spots that tension, they're more likely to be ill at ease.
Nod every so often and lean forward.
Nodding tells your conversational partner that you're keeping along, while leaning forward communicates that you're interested in the person.
Face the other person and don't fidget.
Give your undivided attention to the other person by facing them.
Show them that you're zoned into the conversation by not fidgeting. , It's no secret that other people are naturally attracted to individuals who have confidence.
It may seem unfair, but it's a fact of life: people will judge you based on your own internal confidence.
If your confidence level is high and you're fun to be around, people will cut you breaks when conversation slacks, or make up for lulls in the conversation by trying harder themselves. , It happens to the best of conversationalists sometimes.
You'll accidentally say something you probably shouldn't have, or you'll simply run out of things to say.
This is normal; don't beat yourself up about it.
If this happens, smile at the other person and look them in the eye.
Reassure them with your body language that the bump in the conversation doesn't mean you dislike them or don't want to be there.
Wait for the conversation to rev back up, which it naturally does.
About the Author
Sandra Bailey
Enthusiastic about teaching practical skills techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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