How to Overcome Fear of Making New Friends
Focus on how you feel about yourself., Realize others won’t care if you embarrass yourself., Remember that you are your worst critic., Stop obsessing about things that have happened., Tell yourself it’s okay to make mistakes.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Focus on how you feel about yourself.
One of the things that makes people afraid to make friends is the thought that people are judging you and thinking bad thoughts about you.
While some people may judge you from time to time, most people are too busy thinking about their own lives to think about you to the degree you fear.To overcome worries about people judging you, try to focus on how you feel about yourself.
Tell yourself when you are trying to make friends, “People are not judging me.
People think about themselves more than me.
They are probably just as worried about others judging them as I am.” Identify your feelings about yourself.
For example, if you make a daring fashion choice, then does that make you feel bold, insecure, quirky, or attractive? -
Step 2: Realize others won’t care if you embarrass yourself.
Another thing that makes people nervous to make friends is that they are afraid they will embarrass themselves.
If they do something stupid or wrong, it will cause deep humiliation, and everyone will laugh, judge, and not like them.
However, this is not true.
Most people won’t think about your “embarrassment” a minute after it occurs.Tell yourself, “If I embarrass myself, it will not be the end of the world.
People won’t make as big of a deal about it as I will.
They don’t care and may not even notice.” , Sometimes people find it hard to be social and make friends because they constantly remind themselves of why other people wouldn’t like them.
You may tell yourself that you are worthless, stupid, or unworthy of someone’s friendship.
This is not true.
You deserve friends just like everyone else.When you think these thoughts, tell yourself, “These negative thoughts are my own distorted thoughts because I am my worst critic.
Other people are not nearly as harsh about me as I am.
I am worthy of friendship and deserve to be liked by others.” , Sometimes, our social fears lead us to obsess about things that we did while around other people.
We dissect everything we said, focus on how stupid we are, and dwell on every mistakes.
Other people don’t think this about you, so you should stop yourself when you do this.When you find yourself replaying a conversation or interaction, tell yourself, “Stop this.
I am viewing this in a distorted way, making it worse than it was.
I will not let myself do that.” If you did experience something that didn’t go as planned, tell yourself, “It is okay that this did not go the way I wanted.
I may have said something wrong and embarrassed myself, but I am still a worthy person.
Everyone makes mistakes.” , No one is perfect.
No one expects you to be perfect.
If you think you can’t make friends unless you are perfect all the time, you should understand this is not true.
People make mistakes, and most people connect more to someone who is flawed and vulnerable than someone who acts like they are perfect all the time.Weaknesses, failures, and faults can be endearing.
They make us relatable.
Being open about these things can help you form connections with others because they also have faults and imperfections. -
Step 3: Remember that you are your worst critic.
-
Step 4: Stop obsessing about things that have happened.
-
Step 5: Tell yourself it’s okay to make mistakes.
Detailed Guide
One of the things that makes people afraid to make friends is the thought that people are judging you and thinking bad thoughts about you.
While some people may judge you from time to time, most people are too busy thinking about their own lives to think about you to the degree you fear.To overcome worries about people judging you, try to focus on how you feel about yourself.
Tell yourself when you are trying to make friends, “People are not judging me.
People think about themselves more than me.
They are probably just as worried about others judging them as I am.” Identify your feelings about yourself.
For example, if you make a daring fashion choice, then does that make you feel bold, insecure, quirky, or attractive?
Another thing that makes people nervous to make friends is that they are afraid they will embarrass themselves.
If they do something stupid or wrong, it will cause deep humiliation, and everyone will laugh, judge, and not like them.
However, this is not true.
Most people won’t think about your “embarrassment” a minute after it occurs.Tell yourself, “If I embarrass myself, it will not be the end of the world.
People won’t make as big of a deal about it as I will.
They don’t care and may not even notice.” , Sometimes people find it hard to be social and make friends because they constantly remind themselves of why other people wouldn’t like them.
You may tell yourself that you are worthless, stupid, or unworthy of someone’s friendship.
This is not true.
You deserve friends just like everyone else.When you think these thoughts, tell yourself, “These negative thoughts are my own distorted thoughts because I am my worst critic.
Other people are not nearly as harsh about me as I am.
I am worthy of friendship and deserve to be liked by others.” , Sometimes, our social fears lead us to obsess about things that we did while around other people.
We dissect everything we said, focus on how stupid we are, and dwell on every mistakes.
Other people don’t think this about you, so you should stop yourself when you do this.When you find yourself replaying a conversation or interaction, tell yourself, “Stop this.
I am viewing this in a distorted way, making it worse than it was.
I will not let myself do that.” If you did experience something that didn’t go as planned, tell yourself, “It is okay that this did not go the way I wanted.
I may have said something wrong and embarrassed myself, but I am still a worthy person.
Everyone makes mistakes.” , No one is perfect.
No one expects you to be perfect.
If you think you can’t make friends unless you are perfect all the time, you should understand this is not true.
People make mistakes, and most people connect more to someone who is flawed and vulnerable than someone who acts like they are perfect all the time.Weaknesses, failures, and faults can be endearing.
They make us relatable.
Being open about these things can help you form connections with others because they also have faults and imperfections.
About the Author
Lisa Ramos
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in pet care and beyond.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: